In The End We Were Meant To Be
by WindowsDown22
Summary: Logan's life revolves around his work. Kendall is a lonely bartender who has faced many obstacles in life. Logan was meant to meet him, but was prevented from doing so. Now Kendall is seeing him wherever he goes, and he has no idea why. Kogan slash.
1. Meant To Meet

**Okay, so I know I have other stories going, but this idea would not leave my head. I watched Just Like Heaven, one of my all-time favourite movies, and after watching it a couple of days ago, I thought this would be a great idea for a kogan fic. Of course I think every awesome romance movie, is a good idea for a Kogan fic. Kogan has officially ruined my mind. Oh well:(**

**Anyways, it will sought of follow that plot very loosely. I have my own plans for it, but if you've seen the movie then you'll know what's going to happen a little bit more than others. **

**Okay enough rambling. Don't forget to read and review. It means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush, the move Just like heaven or anything else you may recognize.**

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><p><strong>In the end we were meant to be<strong>

**This was written on 27****th**** of December 2011**

**Chapter 1**

**Meant to meet**

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><p>Logan Mitchell sat at the table in the doctor's lounge at Saint Mary's hospital. He had been at work now for twenty-three hours now, and was utterly spent. As he sat in his seat, a coffee in front of him-which happened to be his only chance of keeping awake, he felt his eye-lids droop slowly. Soon enough sleep had overcome him. His mouth hung open, a clear line of drool dribbling down his chin.<p>

"Logan," he heard, as a hand shook his shoulder. He awoke with a start, his vision blurry as he looked around dazedly.

"Uh, whas goin on?" He mumbled sleepily before he looked up, to see Camille Roberts standing over him. She was another doctor at the hospital, and also a very good friend of his. Logan yawned loudly before asking, "How long was I out?"  
>"For about thirty-two seconds," Camille replied smiling. Logan shook his head, before picking up his coffee cup, and downing the liquid inside it. This woke him up slightly, as he stood up and went to go back to work.<p>

"Don't you think it's time to go Logan," Camille said. Logan turned back and smiled.

"That's not going to get me the attending slot now is it," Logan replied, before he was out the door, Camille not getting the chance to get another word in.

Logan spent the next three hours working hard. He knew he had to get this attending slot. It was a position within the hospital, that allowed him stay on and work here as an attending physician. He desperately wanted this promotion, but he had some stiff competition. Jett Stetson was the other viable candidate, and he was good at what he did. Albeit he could be egotistical, self-absorbed obnoxious and cared more about kissing up to their boss Doctor Masterson than the patients themselves, he was still a good at what he did. Logan didn't want to lose the position to Jett, so he pushed himself to the absolute limit, in hopes he would be recognized for his dedication.

Logan was walking down the hallway towards his next patient, when he heard, "Doctor Masterson, gunshot victim, internal haemorrhaging." Logan turned around to see his boss looking at a clipboard that held the patients details. He watched as Doctor Masterson looked up, his eyes landing on Logan and then flicking to the left. Logan followed his boss's line of vision, and landed on Jett.

"Mitchell, Stetson, over here," Logan rushed forward, to be next to Doctor Masterson's side.

"How long have you been here Stetson?" Doctor Masterson asked.

"Twelve hours sir," Jett replied.

"What about you Mitchell," Logan sighed.

"A little longer," Doctor Masterson's eyes flicked to Jett.

"All right Jett."  
>"I'll scrub up," Logan watched disappointedly as Jett ran off. Logan turned to walk away, when he heard his name being called. He turned back to see Doctor Masterson smiling at him.<p>

"Yes, sir," Logan replied coyly, as he walked back to his bosses side.

"I was going to wait till tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know that I've made my decision," Logan felt his stomach flip, as he was about to find out whether he had gotten the attending slot.

"I want you to stay on as an attending physician," Doctor Masterson finished. Logan smiled, wearing a grin from ear to ear.

"Really? Thank you," he cheered.

Hey. Hey. You've earned it. Unlike some others, you spend more time being concerned with what's best for the patient rather than kissing my ass. A risky move, but I like it," Logan beamed at this, as he now knew that all his hard work had paid off.

"Sir, I can't thank you enough for this opportunity," Logan began to ramble on. "There's so much I want to do here. I can't wait to get started-"

"Logan," Doctor Masterson interrupted.

"Yes?"

"The only thing I need you to do right now is go home."

"But, sir, I... I have..."

"Go. I know you've been here for twenty-six hours now Logan. Sometimes I think you spend more time here than I do," Logan blushed at this. "Logan go home, spend this night relaxing, putting your feet up for once," Logan smiled before nodding.

"Thank you once again sir."  
>"It's my pleasure Logan, now go home and come back rested to start tomorrow," Logan again nodded, before he turned around and basically waltzed away.<p>

He found himself walking back into the Doctor's longue in hopes of finding Camille there. He was glad that he did, alongside Jo Taylor, and Dak Zevon, two more of his fellow doctors.

"So who wants to hear some good news," Logan said. Camille looked up, and saw the glint in Logan's eyes.

"You got the position," Logan nodded in utter excitement. Camille squealed, before she was up from her seat, and embracing Logan in a tight hug. When she let go, she squealed again.

"I'm so glad you got the spot instead of Jett," Camille said.

"Yeah so am I," Logan replied.

Soon enough Jo and Dak were up and hugging him, congratulating him on his success.

"You know this calls for celebration. We're almost due to clock off, so how about we all go out tonight, and celebrate," Camille said. Jo and Dak nodded in agreement, but Logan shied away.

"Actually I planned on going home. Maybe reading up on a couple of things before, before I start tomorrow," Camille stared at him with a blank look on his face.

"Please tell me you're kidding right?" When Logan didn't reply, Camille hung her head.

"Logan I worry about you some time."  
>"Why?"<br>"Because all you are is work. You spend all of your time here, and when you're not here your thinking about being here," Camille explained. "I just don't want you to be one of those people who all they are is work."  
>"That's not all I am," Logan frowned.<p>

"Logan, when was the last time you went out-"Jo started off, before she was interrupted by Camille who said, "Or went on a date."

Logan began to think about this, and he honestly couldn't remember.

"Dude, when was the last time you even got laid," Logan blushed at this.

"That's none of your business," he replied. This made Dak laugh.

"When someone asks when the last time you got laid, and the person replies like that it means to long ago. If I didn't know any better I would think you were a virgin," Logan pouted at this, folding his arms across his chests.

"It's not that easy-"

"Of course it is. You just go out, find a cute guy you like, and then actually start up a conversation with him, that has nothing to do with the human anatomy," Logan sighed, looking away from his friends.

"Okay that's it, tonight we are going out-"Camille started, but was interrupted by the sound of Logan's phone ringing. He pulled his phone out, and saw that it was his sister calling. He groaned at this, for he was not in the mood to talk to her. He loved his sister of course, but she was always trying to set him up with someone, acting like he was incapable of finding someone himself.

"Great," Logan said, as he answered the call before putting the phone to his ear.

"Hey Lucy," Logan said.

"Hey Logan, now guess where I am right now."

"I don't know," Logan replied rolling his eyes.

"I am in a bar, looking at the hottest bar tender I have ever seen," Logan had known the moment Lucy had called, that this would be something about a guy.

"Awesome," Logan mused.

"Yeah well he is so gorgeous-"  
>"Lucy you're married with two kids," Logan joked.<p>

"Haha you're so funny. Besides he is totally not my type, this boys as gay as the come."  
>"How do you know for sure that he's gay."<br>"I have an excellent gaydar, I mean I figured you out didn't I?"

"Yeah okay, so now you're going to go on about how cute he is-"  
>"He is do gorgeous, blonde hair, green eyes, tan and toned, wait hold on a second, he's coming over here with my order-"Logan groaned at this.<p>

He could hear everything going on in the background through the phone.

"One martini," Logan rolled his eyes at this, before he heard Lucy speak. "Hey hold on a sec…my names Lucy."  
>"Kendall," the man said.<p>

"Well Kendall, on the phone right now I have my very gay and very available brother. Not only is he totally gorgeous, but he is also a doctor, does this sound at all appealing to you," Logan flushed red as he listened to his sister.

"Um, he sounds nice, but I'm not really looking for anything right now."

Logan hoped Lucy would stop there but she went on.

"Well how about if I get him to come out here, would you at least meet him?"  
>"I don't know-"<p>

"Just talk to him, he's really nice," Logan listened before he heard this Kendall fellow say, "Okay."

There was some slight rustling on the other end of the phone, before he heard Lucy's voice as clear as day.

"Okay so what do you think?"

"What am I meant to judge him by merely hearing his voice."  
>"Yes," Logan sighed.<br>"Okay, well I guess his voice sounded it nice-"  
>"That is an understatement, so get your booty down here."<br>"Lucy, I am not going to come down to the bar you're at just do you can-"

It was at this point that Camille snatched the phone out of Logan's hands.

"Lucy, what bar are you at?" Camille asked. Logan put his head in his hands, as he heard Camille say "Good, we'll be there in half an hour," she then hung up.

"Give me your keys, and wallet," Camille demanded.

"What why?"  
>"Just do it," Logan did as he was told, not wanting to go up against Camille. She pocketed both the items, before saying, "Now go and get dressed, and wait for us to finish our shifts, then we're going out," she turned to Jo and Dak who cheered, which made Logan groan.<p>

...

Logan was now in his car, driving behind Camille who was also taking both Dak and Jo, to this bar. He had done as he was told, getting dressed in the locker room, before continuing to wait for his three friends to finish their shifts. Logan was not looking forward to this, by a long shot. He honestly just wanted to go home, and rest. Sure he wanted to study up, but even just going home and relaxing in bubble bath was more appealing to him.

When Camille turned around a corner Logan still followed her. It was raining out so the roads were slightly slippery, and he couldn't see as clearly as he would like. He turned his window wipers on which wiped away some of the rain, that was hitting his windshield. He looked down to his radio, wanting to put on some music. He looked around for a CD, before finding on his dashboard. He went to grab it, but it slipped through his fingers and fell onto the floor. He groaned in frustration, before looking up, seeing that the road was clear other than Camille's car. He leant down, for a mere second to pick up the CD.

When he got it, he sat back up, but was blinded by two very bright white lights. He saw something very large approach him, before a sickening crash sounded, and then everything turned to darkness.

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><p><strong>Okay so what do you think? Lemme know if you liked it and whether I should continue or not:D<strong>


	2. Mysterious

**Okay HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope all my lovely readers have a great 2012. I feel this could've been better but it's two in the morning and I really wanted to get this finished. It is in the next chapter that I think everything will become clearer. This is just sought of meh… I'll let you be the judge of it:D**

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><p><strong>In the End We Were Meant To Be<strong>

**This was written on the 1****st**** of January 2012**

**Chapter 2**

**Mysterious**

**Thanks to **_MythoBoy__, __OsnapitzT0Ri__ , __seddielover1311__ , Fabian00, __TheGodsAreOnMySide__ , __Kendalls LogieBear__ , rawbbles, __pikagurl12__ , __Jacques Descantes__ , __Rhett9__ , __Ericsoaweosme__ , __TheClaire24__ , __BreakFree__ and __IceRush_** for your lovely reviews. Keep them coming. **

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><p>Two weeks later found Kendall Knight getting in, at the early hours of the morning. It was four-thirty and he was only just getting home from his job as a bar tender. He yawned as he walked up down the hall to his room. He opened the door to his bedroom, the hinges creaking in protest. He shut the door, before he walked over to his bed, collapsing on it, and falling asleep almost instantly.<p>

...

He awoke the next morning to someone poking him in the side.

"Fuck off," Kendall said, before he rolled over onto his side. He figured it was James or Carlos, his two best friends whom he lived with. They normally never bothered him when they were sleeping, so he wondered why they were today. He didn't have the energy however to open his eyes, to look at them. He had thought a simple 'fuck off' would do it, but he was seemingly wrong as whomever it was continued to poke him in the side.

He sat up without warning, preparing to bitch out whoever it was that had awoken him, but when he looked up at the person, his eyes widened. Someone was in his room, a man he had never seen before in his life. He let out a scream, as whoever was standing before him did the same. Seconds later, James and Carlos burst through the door.

"Dude what's wrong?" they asked in unison. Kendall blinked as he looked at the spot where, a man with brown tufts of hair, and mesmerising chocolate orbs had previously been standing. He blinked his eyes, rubbing them as well, but when he looked up again the man who he had formally seen was gone.

He bit down on his bottom lip before he looked over to his two best friends. They looked at him strangely.

"Ah it was just a spider, but I got it," Kendall said. James and Carlos both rolled their eyes, as they left the room. Kendall swore he had just seen a man, but he guessed he was merely sleep deprived. He got out of bed, before putting on some clothes, and going downstairs.

Downstairs he was met with the sight of James and Carlos kissing as the made breakfast.

"Guys seriously? I don't need to see that first thing in the morning," they broke a part blushing, returning to their cooking. Kendall looked at the clock to see it was eleven-thirty. He had had a fair amount of sleep, but he still felt so out of it. He sat down at the table, resting his head on the cold wood.

"Hey we're cooking breakfast for Katie, do you want some?" James asked. Kendall nodded his head.

"What do ya want?" James questioned.

"Scrambled eggs," Kendall replied. Soon after he felt two plates being placed in front of him, the smell of scrambled eggs wafting towards him. He looked up and smiled at James who had done this for him. His plate contained scrambled eggs, whereas Katie's had cut up pieces of fruit.

"Thanks man," he said, before he picked up the two plates and began to walk down the hall.

Moments later he found himself outside Katie's room. He took a deep breath before knocked, and entered.

"Hey Katie, are you awake," Kendall said. He walked into the room, and saw Katie whose eyes were wide open.

"Yeah, I'm awake Kendall," she said. He went and sat down beside her, placing her food on her bedside table.

He looked over her, sighing. It had been three years since Katie had been in the accident that paralysed her from the neck down. Since then Kendall had been her soul provider. He did everything he could for her, working night shifts so he could spend the day with her. She didn't have much of life without Kendall. James and Carlos would look after her during the night, but Kendall was really all she had.

"James cut up some fresh fruit for you," Kendall said.

"I'm not hungry," she replied.

"Well get hungry then," Kendall picked up a piece of fruit, stabbing it with the fork, before moving it towards Katie's mouth. At first she pursed her lips shut, but Kendall was persistent. Eventually she rolled her eyes, before opening her mouth. Kendall fed her the rest of her fruit, before he sat back in his chair. He then ate his breakfast. When he was finished he turned to Katie/

"Okay so what do you want to do today," Kendall asked his sister.

"Die," Katie replied.

Kendall was used to this. Ever since the accident, Katie no longer had the will to live. Kendall wasn't surprised for he knew the pain she was going through. She no longer had control over her own body, and he had seen the light slowly leave her eyes over the years. It still hurt him every time she said comments like that.

"Come on, why don't we go outside. We can put you in your wheel chair, and we can go down the block."

"Just leave me alone Kendall."  
>"No Katie, we are not wasting the day away, now let's get you in your wheel chair."<p>

Kendall picked Katie up, putting her in her wheel chair. He then began to push her out the door. Katie didn't say anything, as he did so. They left the room, and went towards the kitchen, where James and Carlos were eating their breakfast.

"Good morning Katie," both James and Carlos said. Katie didn't respond, which made Kendall sigh.

"Nice try guys," Kendall reassured with a smile. "I just wanted to tell you that Katie and I are going for a walk. We'll be back soon," James and Carlos nodded.

"I've got some auditions today, so I probably won't be here when you get back," James told Kendall.

"Yeah and I'm going to be at the bakery so I won't be here either," Carlos said also.

"Okay, we we'll see you guys when you get back," Kendall smiled as he turned Katie's wheel chair around, and pushed her out the door.

...

Kendall was enjoying his leisurely stroll, but he could tell Katie wasn't. He tried to make conversation with her every couple of seconds, but she merely ignored him. Kendall wished Katie would make this a little bit easier on him.

Kendall's father had left back when both of them were little. Kendall was seven, and Katie was four. It had been hard on them, but they managed as a family; Kendall, Katie and their mum Jennifer. It was when Kendall was thirteen that it happened. His mother was diagnosed with cancer. She fought for three longs years, until she lost the battle, dying on Kendall's sixteenth birthday.

They were shipped off to their grandparents. That was when Katie started to act up. She began to get into a crowd with the wrong people. She started to drink, do drugs. Kendall tried to help her, but nothing he said got through to her.

Kendall left hid grandparents when he was eighteen, and went out on his own. James, Carlos and himself all brought a small house together. James wanted to be a model of an actor, so he got himself an agent. So far he booked a couple of gigs as a male model, and had starred in a few commercials. Carlos had been handed a small bakery from his grandmother who got too old to run it. He had worked there as a kid, and knew all of the ropes. Kendall got a small time job at a local restaurant to make a little bit of money, but two months later he received some bad news.

Katie had been drunk driving, and he been in an accident. Kendall immediately rushed to the hospital, only to find out that Katie was in critical condition. When the doctors finally came to talk to him, they said she was in a coma, and they weren't sure if she would ever wake up. Fortunately three months later she did, only to get the news that she would be paralysed from the neck down for the rest of her life. Kendall had then become her soul caretaker, as his grandparents were too old to do so.

Kendall steered Katie around a corner to deciding he would take her to the library. They got a lot of books out there that Kendall would read to Katie. When the two entered the library, they were greeted by one of the librarians that they both knew very well.

"Hello Kendall, hello Katie," she said cheerily.

"Hello Mrs Lovelace," Kendall replied. Katie didn't say anything, earning a sad look from Mrs Lovelace.

It was at this point, that Kendall felt the sudden urge to go to the toilet.

"Um, excuse me Mrs Lovelace," Kendall said. "I really need to go to the toilet. Would you mind looking after Katie for a moment?"  
>"Not at all sweetie," the kind woman replied. Kendall wheeled Katie up to the desk, before he leant down whispering, "be nice," before he left for the toilet.<p>

When he finished up in the urinal he zipped up his fly, before he walked over to the sinks to wash his hands. He turned on the tap, putting his hands under the cool water. He then looked up into the mirror, only to let out a short, sharp scream. The man from this morning was standing behind him. He turned around slightly out of breath, as he looked upon the brunet.

"Oh my god, what are you-why are-are you following me or something?" Kendall asked becoming a little freaked out by the brunet's sudden appearance.

He suddenly found himself thinking of how crazy he was. This man had been in his room this morning, but had disappeared right before his eyes. He blinked his eyes again, wondering If this was his imagination playing tricks on him, but when the brunet didn't disappear, he wondered what on earth was going on.

The last thing he expected however was for the brunet to break down in hysterical tears.

"Whoa dude, it's all right okay. I didn't mean to offend you or anything," the brunet stopped crying for a second, before he straightened himself up, wiping his tears away.

"Is e-everything all right?" Kendall asked, still uncertain what was going on.

"I don't-I don't know. I'm scared."  
>"What are you scared of?"<p>

"T-the fact that I don't know anything. I don't know who I am, or what I'm doing here. I'm so scared."

The fact that Kendall still had no idea who this guy was, frightened him a little, but he still felt for the guy. He figured that maybe had escaped from a hospital of some sought and was one of those people had amnesia or whatever they called it.

"Okay, it's all right. Now why don't we take you out to the front desk where maybe we can get you some help or something okay," the brunet nodded.

Kendall held out his hand, which the brunet took. Kendall smiled at this, as he said, "By the way my names Kendall."  
>"My names-My name, I-"<p>

"It's okay we'll figure it out okay," the brunet nodded, smiling weakly as Kendall went to lead him out of the toilet.

As he did so, someone came into the toilets. It was a man, who dashed past Kendall and into the closest stall. Kendall shook his head, before he went to turn back to the mysterious man.

"Okay now why don't we…" Kendall stopped in his tracks as he looked forward, to find the brunet had vanished.

Kendall blinked, looking down at his outstretched arm. He swore he had not imagined all of what had just happened, for if he did he was surely crazy. He looked around, but no one was there. He couldn't ignore it this time. He had just had a conversation with someone who wasn't there.

Kendall shook his head, as he exited the bathroom, and returned to Katie. When he was at the front desk, he looked up to Mrs Lovelace.

"Is everything all right Kendall," Mrs Lovelace asked. "You look a little pale."  
>"What oh it's nothing, just I mean have you seen a brunet around, um he has brown eyes, pale skin, he's a little short," he held up his hand to indicate how tall the boy was.<p>

"I can't say I have Kendall," Mrs Lovelace replied. "Why do you ask?"  
>"Oh it's ah nothing, just ah nothing," Kendal shook his head dazedly, looking back to the bathroom.<p>

"Um, Katie we should get going," Kendall said, wanting to get as far away from the library as possible.

"You haven't got any books though," Mrs Lovelace called out, but Kendall didn't hear her. He was so freaked out, and he just wanted to be near the library anymore.

Katie didn't argue, as Kendall wheeled her away. Kendall figured he should just get home, and try to get some rest. Lack of sleep could do this to someone couldn't it? That was right, he just needed some sleep. He had been so stressed lately, and he just needed to get away from it all.

As he walked down the street, he kept a look out for anything strange, and when nothing happened he began to think that would be the end of it all. What he didn't know was the it was only the beginning.

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><p><strong>Okay lemme know what you think:D<strong>


	3. Help me?

**Okay, sorry for taking so long to update, but it's up now anyways so yeah:) I know that people are finding this really confusing and this chapter probably will only add to the confusion, but as the story goes on it will start to make sense. Okay please read and review. Reviews mean a lot to me. You guys are the ones I'm writing this for so read and lemme know what you think:D**

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><p><strong>In The End We Were Meant To Be<strong>

**This was published on 14****th**** of January 2012**

**Chapter 3**

**Help me?**

**Thanks to **_seddielover1311__, __Rhett9__, __Kendalls LogieBear__, __itrymybest__, Fabian00, __MythoBoy__, rawbbles, __Jacques Descantes__, __BTRKogan__, __OsnapitzT0Ri__, __TheClaire24__, __BreakFree__, __bigtimedegrassi__, __W0ND3R_** and **_IceRush__._** I love you guys so please keep the reviews coming:)**

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><p>When Kendall arrived home, he immediately locked the door in hopes of keeping this strange man out of his house. He then went and shut all the windows open in his house, also deciding to close the curtains. There was just something to weird about this, and it had Kendall's mind whirling. When he had done all this, he then returned to Katie.<p>

"Hey Katie, I'm just feeling really tired today. You wouldn't mind if I had a bit of a rest would you?" Katie rolled her eyes.

"It's not as if I really care Kendall," Kendall sighed, as he rolled Katie over to the couch. He then picked her up placing her on the couch. Once he had done that, he then turned on the television, putting on one of her favourite movies Soul Surfer. (1)

He went back to her, kneeling down beside her. He brushed her hair out of her face, before whispering, "I love you." He wanted Katie to say it back, but as always she never did. She didn't love anything anymore. Kendall kissed her on the forehead, before he stood up and went upstairs.

When he was inside his bedroom, he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt like he was going insane, seeing people that weren't really there. He took a couple of deep breaths, before he collapsed on his bed. His only thought was that it was due to lack of sleep; it had to be. He was always doing something. He worked for most of the night and during the day he kept Katie company. When he did get time to sleep he sometimes couldn't because he was just always so alert. He was basically an insomniac, not by choice.

He closed his eyes hoping that if he simply relaxed everything would be okay. It kind if worked for a bit, for in this time he found all of his worries drifting slightly away. As more time passed, he actually felt himself drifting off. He was on the brink of sleep, when he felt his mattress sink in beside him. He groaned, as whoever it was shuffled around slightly. He turned to his side, his eyes fluttering only to be met with the one person whom he did not want to see at all.

He jumped off of his bed, across the other side of the room, hitting his back against the wall. The man before him stood up as well looking at him curiously.

"Why did you leave me?" the man asked in a small voice.

"L-Leave you, how can I leave you when you're not real!" Kendall shouted.

"Not real, of course I'm real. I'm here aren't I?"  
>"I don't know, but your just and I just and you and-and-"Kendall just didn't know what to do.<p>

"Please something really weird is going on?"  
>"You don't think I know that, oh god I'm going insane," Kendall began to pace back and forth, every now and then looking back to the man, hoping that he had disappeared, only to have these hopes dashed. When the man took a seat on his bed, Kendall had had enough.<p>

"Okay look, how did you get into my house? I locked all the doors and everything," the man just shrugged.

"So you don't know how you got in here?"  
>"I told you something is really wrong. I don't know who I am or where I am, and it's just like every time I'm not around you, I'm not really here."<br>"You're not really…" Kendall scoffed as he trailed off before he put his head in his hands.

That was when Kendall heard the front door open downstairs. His head shot up, as he realised that either James or Carlos were home. He turned back to the man looking at him intently.

"Okay look I don't know what's going on here, but do not follow me out of this room okay," the man looked at Kendall but didn't do or say anything in return.

Kendall sighed before he walked out of the room, down the hallway and into the lounge area. There he saw James sitting across from Katie on the opposite couch.

"H-Hey James," Kendall said, looking back behind around to see if the man had followed him. When he saw no one else in the room he let out a sigh of relief, before he took a seat next to James.

"Hey Ken," James replied glumly.

"What's up man? I thought you had an audition."  
>"Yeah I did, but I blew it."<br>"Oh, man I'm sorry."  
>"Don't worry about it, there's always the next on right?"<br>"Right," Kendall said, as he patted James on the back.

As James, Katie and him sat in silence watching the movie that was still on. Kendall kept looking around, wondering if he had just dreamed what had happened. He sat back in the couch taking a couple of deep breaths. He turned to the movie, watching as the main girl Bethany was talking. It was right after she mentioned the name Logan, that the man appeared right next to him. Kendall eyes widened as he let out a startled yelp, jumping up in his seat.

"Kendall are you all right?" James asked.

"What ah yeah I'm fine I just…" Kendall looked back to the man, who was staring at the television.

"My name is Logan," the man Kendall now knew as Logan turned to Kendall, smiling.

"What are you talking about?" Kendall said utterly confused.

"Kendall who are you talking to?" Kendall then turned to James, who had an expectant look on his face, as he waited for Kendall to explain himself.

"What no one I just-"  
>"Logan Mitchell. My name is Logan Mitchell," Logan whispered.<p>

"Logan Mitchell," Kendall said.

"Logan Mitchell, who the hell is Logan Mitchell, Ken what's going on?"

Kendall was so confused about all of this. He looked from James to Logan to Katie who was also staring at him rather strangely.

"I just-I don't-"Kendall just stood up and left the room. He couldn't be around all of this. He needed to get away from it all, so he went to his room. He opened the door immediately shutting it behind him. He leaned his forehead against the door, wondering what the hell was happening to him. He began to take deep breaths trying to calm himself.

"Kendall," Kendall almost jumped out of skin before whipped himself around, to see Logan sitting on his bed. Kendall began to pace again, shaking his head.

"How do you keep doing that?"  
>"Doing what?" Logan asked.<p>

"Doing that, showing up when there's no way you can really be here."  
>"I don't know. All I know is that my name is Logan Mitchell."<br>"How do you know that?"  
>"Because I just know it. When it said the name Logan on the movie, I just knew. Logan Mitchell."<p>

Kendall watched as Logan began to fiddle with his thumbs, a smile on his face. That smile turned into a frown as he then looked up at Kendall.

"You need to help me?"  
>"What do you mean help you, how am I meant to help you?"<br>"Well I now know my name, maybe I can find out who my family is, and stuff like that-"  
>"You have family?" Kendall questioned.<p>

"Well I mean, I don't know, but with your help maybe I can find out?"  
>"Logan," Kendall started. "I don't think you realise this, but I think you ah, you might not be here."<p>

"Might not be here, what is that supposed to mean."  
>"I mean I think you um, you might be ah, not real."<p>

"Not real, of course I real, that's not a very nice thing to say Kendall."

"Not a very nice thing to say," Kendall scoffed.

"Well what else could this possibly be Logan? No one else can see you other than me."  
>"If I wasn't real, could I do this?"<p>

Logan reached out, and put his hand on Kendall's shoulder. He squeezed it, before moving his hand up, to put it on the side of Kendall's face. He stroked the skin there, smiling at Kendall. Kendall wasn't sure what to say, so he just reached up and took Logan's hand in his before pulling it away from his own face, and putting in back in Logan's lap.

Kendall wasn't sure how this was possible.

"I told you I'm really here," Logan whispered. "Please you have to help me?"

"But you're just-no one else can see you," Logan frowned before he stood up. He them began to walk towards the door.

When he got to the door, Logan went to reach for the door handle to open it. What happened however was his hand went right through the door handle when he tried to grab it.

"What?" Logan said. He tried to do the same again, but he couldn't grasp it, his hand just going straight through the door handle. He tried with his other hand, but the same thing happened. He then groaned in frustration, before he took a couple of steps back. He then ran at the door, and Kendall could only watch as Logan ran at the door, before he flew though the wood. Kendall was taken aback by this.

"Logan," Kendall called out. He got up and ran to open the door. Logan wasn't in the hallway.

"Logan!" he called out. When he felt someone tap him on the shoulder, he turned around and smiled.

"Logan, what happened?"

"I don't know," was all Logan said in return, as he began to walk down the hallway. Kendall followed him, until they were in the lounge where James and Katie were still watching the movie.

Kendall watched in amusement, as Logan walked straight up to James.

"Hello," Logan started off. James barely even flinched.

"Hello!" Logan shouted. He sighed in frustration, before walking over to Katie. He began to jump up and down in front of her, waving his arms hysterically around in the air. He walked over to the television, and stood in front of it.

"The sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow," Kendall laughed at Logan singing, which alerted James and Katie to his presence.

"Oh hey man, um are you all right?" James asked in a concerned fashion.

"What oh yeah, just um a little tired," James nodded, looking at Kendall one last time, before he returned his attention to the television.

"Ah hello I'm right here!" Logan shouted. James and Katie didn't take any notice of him.

Kendall watched as tears formed in Logan's eyes. He then looked up at Kendall.

"They really can't see me Kendall," Logan said. Kendall felt so upset because of this.

"Please you have to help me," Kendall watched and he couldn't help but feel for the brunette in front of him.

"Okay," he mouthed, and that made Logan smile.

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><p><strong>I know this wasn't the best but it will keep getting better, so keep reading. <strong>

**I don't know if you guys have seen the movie Soul Surfer but's it's one of my favourite movies and it's so inspirational. It's about a girl who's a surfer and her arm gets bitten off by a shark but she still continues to surf one handed. I was trying to think of movies with the name Logan in it, and I was going to use X-Men, but this came to mind instead.**


	4. Breakdown

**Okay first off, people are saying that this reminds them of this movie. I kind of already mentioned that the plot was similar to the movie just like heaven, accept with my own twists, so yeah I talked about that in the first chapter guys:) **

**Secondly, I am loving writing this story at the moment. All the reviews and alerts have just been amazing, and I'm so happy everyone is liking this. In this chapter there are parts of it, that I've taken from the movie, and it will be the same for the next chapter. I just came up with the saddest thing for this story though. I like day dreamt it I guessed, and I was seriously almost in tears. Then again I've always been one to cry easily so yeah. Expect a lot of updates from me for this story because I'm literally just loving it. Okay onto the chapter:)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, Just like heaven or anything else you may recongnize.**

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><p><strong>In The End We Were Meant To Be<strong>

**This was published on the 16****th**** of January 2012**

**Chapter 4**

**Breakdown**

**Thanks to **_BreakFree__, __Kendalls LogieBear__, __BTRKogan__, __bigtimedegrassi__, __Rhett9__, __TidusGT__, __Hikari no Kasai__, __seddielover1311__, __lord kiras hand__, rawbbles, __Jacques Descantes__, __MythoBoy__, __Velandrae__, W0ND3R _**and **_OsnapitzT0Ri__. _**I love you guys so keep it up:D**

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><p>The rest of that day had passed by in a flash. Logan was by Kendall's side for most of it, or otherwise he was still trying to gain James or Katie's attention by any means possible. At one point in the day, Kendall had dragged Logan out of the room, so he could talk to him. He told Logan that he couldn't talk to him when anyone else was around, as it made him look like a raging lunatic. This was true, as Kendall would respond to whatever Logan was saying, earning strange looks from both James and Katie.<p>

When Carlos arrived home, he had dinner with him.

"Hey guys, I brought Chinese home," Carlos called out, as he juggled everything in his hand, whilst attempting to shut the front door. Once he had done so he walked into the kitchen, putting the bags full of food on the kitchen counter.

When he felt a pair of arms wrap around his mid-section, he turned his head to see James smiling at him.

"Hey babe," James said, pecking him on the cheek.

"Hey," Carlos said, looking at James sadly. He had been texting James all day and he knew he was upset about not booking the job today.

"You doing all right?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah there's always next time," Carlos nodded, before reaching up and sealing his lips to James.

They stayed like this for a little bit, before Kendall interrupted them.

"Yeah they're always like this and it's really annoying," Kendall then laughed. Carlos turned to see who he was talking to, but was surprised to see no one there.

"Ah who were you just talking to Ken?" Carlos asked. Kendall looked up to him, blinking a couple of times before he let out a shaky laugh, before saying, "No one," rather hastily.

Carlos watched in slight confusion, before he turned to James.

"What was that about?" he whispered.

"He's been acting like that all day. He just says he really tired, but I don't honestly know what's going," they both looked back and Kendall who was sitting at the kitchen table, his head faced down against the cold wood.

Kendall could feel both his friends gaze on him, but he just ignored it. There wasn't much else he could do.

"I'm sorry Kendall," he heard Logan say, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. He sat up when he heard a plate being put in front of him.

"Thank you Carlitos," Kendall said.

"No problem bro," Carlos then stood in front of Kendall for a little bit, as if he was expecting something in return.

"Ah did you want something else," Kendall said, trying not to sound rude.

"What no, just ah, are you all right buddy."

Kendall looked to James, and could tell he was wondering the same thing. Kendall sighed.

"Okay so say hypothetically-"  
>"Kendall don't say anything, they'll think you're a nut job and then you'll never be able to help me," Logan whined. Kendall shot him a murderous glare, which silenced him as he turned back to his friends.<p>

"Okay so say hypothetically there was someone else in this room right now, that only I could see okay, how would you guys react to me telling you this…"

James and Carlos shared worried looks, before they both sat down looking straight at Kendall.

"We would tell you, that you've been under a lot of stress lately and it's all right okay, but maybe you should go and see someone, just to help you through everything," Carlos said in the calmest yet sweetest possible voice ever. He then put his hand on Kendall's before James did the same to Kendall's shoulder. There was a moment of silence, which Kendall eventually laughed off as he said, "Good thing that was hypothetical then," he then started to eat his dinner.

Kendall could tell that James and Carlos were now quite worried about him, but he just continued to eat his dinner.

"See look I told you they would think you're a looney," Logan hissed. Kendall didn't even look up from his dinner at this.

"So ah, what's Katie doing?" Carlos asked.

"Oh ah she's sleeping at the moment," Kendall replied. "I'm probably going to be at work when she wakes up, so you guys won't mind feeding her will you."  
>"No of course not," James replied.<p>

"Cool thanks," The dinner talk then resumed to being rather normal. Kendall managed not to talk or even look up at Logan, as he ate which obviously soothed his friend's worries about him.

Logan however was getting more and more frustrated as the seconds ticked by. He wanted to know so badly why no one could see him accept for Kendall. Eventually he got sick of it.

"Oh my god, seriously this is infuriating. Why can they not see me, they should be able to see!" Kendall watched in horror at Logan's outburst before he launched himself across the table, throwing himself at James. Logan merely fell right through James and the table, before he landed on the floor, with a soundless thud. James didn't even look up, but Logan was right back on it. He got back up, and started to poke and prod at James, each time his hands going straight through him. Kendall couldn't help but crack a grin.

Finally Logan just got his hand, and began to wave it through James head like he was trying to swat a pesky fly.

"Ow," James finally said. Logan's eyes widened as he thought James was about to turn around look at him for the first time. Instead James put his hand to his head.

"What's wrong baby," Carlos said, immediately putting his hands on James shoulder.

"Nothing, I just got a headache," Logan frowned at this. "Don't worry, it's gone now."

Logan growled, before he put his hands through James head again.

"Ow," James said again. Kendall watched the scene before him. Carlos seemed so concerned about his boyfriend, and James was just concerned about his strange headaches. Logan however was just laughing at what he was doing.

Kendall was trying to stifle his laughter, but Logan soon caught on to what he was doing.

"You think this is funny huh," Kendall knew he couldn't reply, but he saw the mischievous smirk on Logan's face. Logan ran through the table, giggling like a school girl, as he flung his hand out.

Kendall ducked and bobbed, as he tried to stop Logan from hitting him.

"Not-fair-you-can-actually-hit-me," Kendall said in between breaths and his own mounting laughter.

"Kendall what are you doing?" both Logan and Kendall immediately stopped as they turned back to Carlos who looked rather taken aback by what he was seeing.

"Oh ah, hmm, it was a new dance move."  
>"A new dance move," Carlos and James said in unison, their voices laced with disbelief.<p>

"Ah yeah, all the kids are doing it these days, you know how the times are now," Kendall couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, as Logan burst out in laughter beside him.

"Ken, about what you said before, can you actually see…" Carlos trailed off. Kendall knew what Carlos was about to ask, and he really didn't want to have this talk, so instead he looked up to the clock.

"Oh ah look at the time. I should probably get to work, see you guys later, and thanks for looking after Katie for me," Kendall quickly scampered out the door, grabbing his keys from the table as he went.

When he got into the car, he saw Logan in the passenger seat.

"Oh no, you are not coming to work with me."  
>"What why not?"<br>"Because look at what you've already caused. If you do that to me at work I'll look even worse."  
>"Kendall you did that to yourself, you should've never told them in the first place."<br>"Please okay, don't come to work with me."  
>"Well what else am I supposed to do?"<br>"I don't know, do whatever it is you do when I'm not around."  
>"I already told you, it's like I don't exist when you're not around."<p>

Kendall sighed at this, before he started up his pickup truck. He knew he wouldn't be able to get rid of the brunette, so he might as well just let in now. They drove in a comfortable silence, before Kendall pulled into the parking lot of a place called the blue moon pub.

"You work here?" Logan asked.

"Yeah I'm a bartender," Kendall replied. The two walked down away from the front entrance, entering through a back entrance down an alley way. Kendall made his way over to the bar, so he could begin his work, but not before he pulled Logan aside.

"Okay, if you're going to be here, no funny business all right. I want to keep my job okay," Logan nodded, as he watched Kendall walk over to the bar, and began talking to one of the men behind it. Logan began to wonder if he'd ever been in a bar himself for the scenery was unfamiliar to him. He figured that a lot of pubs would be the same, but nothing about this made him remember anything. He shook his head, as he made his way through the small crowd over to where Kendall was. He didn't want to get in the way, so he sat atop the counter far away from where anyone else was sitting. He watched as Kendall got to work.

Hours in from when Kendall started working, Logan was completely exasperated. Twice that night Kendall had been hit upon. The first time it happened, Logan hadn't really thought much about it. He had been hit on by a beautiful blonde girl. She had a top that hung loose around her chest showing copious amounts of cleavage, and her face was covered by a light layer of makeup, unlike most of the girls in here. Kendall had politely declined her though which had Logan slightly confused. She was gorgeous, and a lot of guys would've killed to have someone like her on their arm.

The next time it happened though, was when Logan became angered. It was because this time Kendall actually seemed interested in the guy. This led Logan to believe that Kendall was gay, and that was why he rejected the beautiful girl who had been infatuated by Kendall beforehand. The mere fact that Kendall actually seemed into this guy though, really bothered Logan. Logan could obviously see, that all this guy wanted was to get into Kendall's pants, and Logan felt that Kendall was worth a lot more than a one night stand. The way the guy acted though. He made it no secret that he wanted Kendall, as he was always in some way touching Kendall inappropriately, pinching his arse or cupping him through his jeans.

He watched as the guy ordered another drink, smiling at Kendall in a flirtatious manner. Kendall happily obliged, moving to where the alcohol was stored. When Logan caught this guy checking out Kendall's butt he had definitely had enough. He moved over to where Kendall was standing.

"Kendall," he said.

Kendall looked over to see Logan next to him, actually talking. His eyes darted around, and because he had his back turned he felt if he whispered that no one wold notice anything.

"What," Kendall hissed back busying himself with making the drink so he didn't look suspicious.

"You can't be serious about this guy," Logan said blatantly.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I can if I want to be, so go back to sitting on your counter and not bothering me while I'm working," Kendall then turned around with the guys drink in hand.

Logan watched as Kendall placed the drink in front of the guy, brushing his bangs out of his face, and batting his eyelashes a little. Logan was not going to let Kendall be this guy's hook-up for a night to merely be forgotten. He walked straight up to Kendall.

"Kendall seriously all this guy wants is a quick fuck. You deserve better, so stop flirting with him okay."  
>"Seriously shut up," Kendall hissed.<p>

"What was that darling," the guy drawled, licking his lips as he took a sip of his drink, rolling his tongue around the straw that was in it.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," Kendall replied, moving to shoulder Logan out of the way. Logan fell to the floor. He pursed his lips as he stood up, still watching Kendall basically throw himself at this guy.

"So sweetheart, what time does your shift end, maybe we could meet up after," the guy leaned forward, whispering in Kendall's ear. When he pulled back, Kendall's face was a bright shade of red, and he twirled his hair around his index finger. Logan could not take this anymore. He stood up and threw himself at Kendall.

"Well I get off at-"Kendall didn't know how or what had happened, but all of sudden he felt himself lose complete control of his body. His arms suddenly jerked towards the guy pulling his drink away from him, and then throwing the contents of the glass forward right into his face. When Kendall pulled back, he felt his body go ridged, and the Logan fell to the ground beside him. He didn't know how Logan had done it, but he had taken over his body.

"Dude what the hell was that for. If you weren't into me all you had to do was say so!" the guy shrieked, before he walked away muttering a string of curse words under his breath. Kendall looked around at people who were quietly staring.

"Kendall what the hell was that," he turned to see the other man working the bar-being one of his good friends Michael, walking towards him.

"Um, hey Michael," he said.

"Don't hey Michael me, that guy was a customer."  
>"I know, I just it was an accident-"<br>"It didn't look like an accident to me. Seriously you can't just go around doing that."  
>"I know, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to."<p>

"If you do that again, when the boss is around you know you'll be out on your ass right," Kendall only nodded in return.

"Just respect the customers okay, don't let me see you doing anything like that again all right?" Kendall again nodded, as Michael walked away to serve someone else. Kendall was just glad Michael was the only other one working at the moment, for he knew if it had been anyone of the other workers, he wouldn't of been so lucky. Kendall looked down to Logan, who looked apologetic, but Kendall didn't care. He just shook his head, and he took a couple of deep breaths, before returning to his work.

Logan was upset now. He hadn't meant for all of that to happen, but he just didn't want to see Kendall whore himself out like that. He felt bad though, because of the fact that Kendall could've lost his job. He hadn't meant for that to happen at all, and he felt horrible for almost causing that. He wanted to say something to Kendall, but he got the impression that Kendall was not up for talking at all, so he took his seat back on the counter, and waited for Kendall's shift to finish.

When Kendall's shirt did finish however, Logan was even angrier. Another man had shown up, and this one was worse than the last. He just straight up told Kendall that he wanted him, not even bothering to introduce himself. Logan was hoping beyond hope that Kendall would tell the guy to get lost but instead he told him when he got off of his shift.

That was what found the three of them in the alleyway that Kendall and Logan had entered the bar from. The guy was practically attacking Kendall, as he had him pushed up against the wall, his hands everywhere.

"Kendall don't do this," Logan pleaded.

"Just fuck off," Kendall moaned.

"What was that baby," the man said.

"Nothing," Kendall replied, as he moved forward to help the man take his top off.

Logan had a feeling he would never get through to Kendall so instead of staying around to watch the two, Logan sighed before he turned and walked away fading as he moved further and further away from Kendall.

Kendall watched as Logan moved away from him, and he found himself feeling a little freaked out without the brunet by his side. He had become so accustomed to it, over the period of the day that he felt at a loss without him. These thoughts were forgotten as the man grinded harshly into him, making him fling his head back in pleasure. Kendall couldn't really say this was his first time having sex in this alleyway, but it didn't really matter, as the man moved to get rid of his pants. Kendall did the same, before the man was back onto him, they shared open mouthed kisses, but the thoughts of brunette soon returned; this disappointed look in his eyes. It didn't matter as the man roughly shoved his fingers into Kendall with a slight amount of saliva as lubricant upon them. He was going to have sex with this man whether Logan liked it or not.

...

When Kendall came out from the alleyway, his hair looking like a bird's nest, and his clothes barely resting upon his body properly, he spotted Logan lying below his truck. He raised his eyebrows at this, but was pulled back to the guy who was now by his side.

"So we should do this again sometime," the guy said. Kendall nodded, before he turned and walked away, not really wanting to stick around for the awkward conversations that usually followed afterwards.

He got into his truck, waiting for the guy to leave so he could go and talk to Logan. There was no one else around since it was quite late at night, so once the guy did leave, Kendall got out of his truck and walked over to where Logan was still laying.

"Get in the truck," Kendall said bluntly.

"What does it matter whether I do or not. I'll be there when you get back to your house."  
>"How do you know that?"<br>"Because it happens whether I like it or not. I don't know why but it just does."

The two sat in silence for a moment, before Kendall took a seat next to Logan.

"Why are you lying on the ground?" Kendall asked. Logan sighed.

"Because I can't lean against your truck without falling through it," Logan mumbled. Kendall didn't really know what to say until Logan abruptly sat up.

"Why would you do that?" Logan asked.

"Do what?"  
>"Don't play dumb with me. Why would you throw yourself around like that?" Kendall sighed angrily.<p>

"You don't know me okay, so you don't get answers to those questions. Now get up and get in the truck."  
>"No I want to know why you would do that?"<br>"What did you never just hook-up with someone for the sake of it, when you were whatever you were."  
>"I don't know, but I'm guessing I didn't because sex is something that you should do with someone you love-"<br>"Oh god you are such a virgin."  
>"I'm not a virgin," Logan said taken aback.<p>

"How do you know? When you were I don't know, just when you were; you were so a virgin."  
>"Just because I believe that sex is something special, doesn't mean I was a virgin. At least I wasn't a man whore like you."<p>

Logan watched as Kendall's face dropped. Without saying a word, Kendall merely got up and walked over to his car. He got in and started the engine up before taking off, leaving Logan lying on the ground.

As Kendall drove off he felt tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe that Logan had done that. He just wanted to be rid of Logan now, and never have to see him again.

"Kendall I'm so sorry," Kendall jumped a little bit as he saw Logan was now sitting in the passenger seat. "I never meant to upset you."  
>"So why would you say stuff like that."<br>"It just came out."  
>"Yeah well I don't care okay. You have no right to judge me, you don't know what I've been through."<br>"Yeah you're right. I don't have the right to judge you and I'm really sorry that I did. You have no idea how bad I feel."

Kendall moved his hand off the steering wheel, to wipe the tears away.

"Kendall please stop crying. It's just making me feel even worse," Logan pleaded. He felt so horrible, for he never wanted to hurt Kendall. He just wanted to make sure he knew he was better than just a fuck to someone. Kendall laughed a little bit, trying to play off the tears, but as the continued to flow down his face, he couldn't help it anymore. He pulled over to the side of the road, before he rested his head against the steering wheel, and began to cry years' worth of unshed tears.

"Kendall I'm so sorry," Logan said, as he grabbed a hold of his hand, trying to comfort him. Kendall didn't know what made him do it, but he felt so comforted by Logan's hand on his. He just needed more of that feeling, so he jumped off his seat, and fell into Logan's lap wrapping his arms around Logan's neck as he cried into the crook of his shoulder.

Logan was a bit taken aback, but he did what Kendall needed him to do. He wrapped his arms around his waist rubbing soothing circles on his clothes hips.

"I didn't mean to hurt you so much," Logan breathed on the verge of tears himself, with the hysteric by in lap.

"It's not y-you it's m-me. I just-every single r-relationship I've been, it's j-just been about s-sex. That was all I-I was to all the p-people who made me t-think they actually c-cared about me. I was j-just an object t-they used for s-sex. I just got so u-used to it that I a-actually started to believe that w-was all I was good f-for," Kendall said.

Logan had had no idea how Kendall felt, and he doubted that anyone else knew about it either. He then thought about how hard it would be for Kendall to see his two best friends so in love, parading that around him. It just all made Logan feel even worse.

"Hey listen to me," Logan said, as he ran his fingers through Kendall's hair. "You deserve so much more than that. You are such a great guy Kendall, amazing."  
>"You've known me for h-half a day. H-How can you really know t-that," Kendall said before looking up into Logan's eyes. Logan smiled so sincerely it made Kendall's heart melt.<p>

"I don't care. I know a great guy when I see one, and you are one of those people. I don't know how many people would drop their entire life, just to look after their sister like you have. You've basically given up everything to take care of her, and if that alone doesn't prove what a great guy you are, then I don't know what does. You my dear, are worth more than just sex. You are worth so much more."

Kendall had never been told that before, and to hear it with such conviction in made his heart soar. Without even knowing what he was doing, he lunged forward crashing his lips onto Logan's. The kiss was full of so much fervour; so much electricity and as cliché as it sounded Kendall felt the spark, that he had never felt with anyone else. He reached up and tangled his hands through Logan's hair, Logan arms gripping his hips and bringing them closer together. Their lips moved furiously against each other, until they were left out of breath-which was the only reason they parted.

They were left panting, as Logan rested his forehead against Kendall's. They sat in silence for a second, before Kendall suddenly began to laugh. Logan frowned at this.

"Why are you laughing?" Kendall didn't stop as he talked between his cries of laughter.

"I just-I must be…all sorts of crazy…because I'm either…talking to someone who's not here…or talking to myself…and thinking I'm talking to someone," Logan found this annoying as he felt like he was here, in fact he knew he was here, and to be referred to as an imaginary figure was rather annoying.

"Okay, okay I get it, I get it," Logan said which made Kendall quieten down. They sat in a comfortable silence, just cuddling with one another, before Kendall moved back to his spot in the driver's seat.

"Sorry, I'm just tired, and I want to get home," Kendall explained.

"Okay," Logan simply replied.

"You know, we've only just had our first kiss, and it's like you've already moved in with me," Logan chuckled.

"It's not as if I have anywhere else to go."  
>"And here I was thinking you were actually happy to be around me," they both laughed, as Logan reached over grabbing Kendall's hand, as he began to drive.<p>

As they pulled up into Kendall's driveway, Kendall shut his engine off. As he went to get out, Logan pulled him back.  
>"Is everything all right?" Kendall asked.<p>

"Yeah, I was just wondering, why do you think you are the only one who can see me."  
>"I honestly don't know Logan, but I'm kind of glad in a way," Kendall smiled. Logan squeezed his hand.<p>

"Yeah me to," Logan replied, and with that they both exited the truck and entered Kendall's house, that one question still running through each of their minds.

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><p><strong>Awww, poor Kendall. You will find out about his past relationships later on in the story:)<strong>

**So please lemme know what you think.**

**Love you guys 4realz xx.**


	5. Hope

**Okay sorry this is short and crappy, but I felt like I needed to get something up for this story. I said I was really into writing this, and then I haven't updated in a while. Things have just been hectic at the moment, and to add to it, my mum and dad are fighting and have been throwing the word divorce around. If things get better over the next couple of days then I will have another update for this and my other stories. **

**Secondly I just want to say, aren't Sammy and Carlos so cute together. I know people have been hating on them, but I think it's adorable:)**

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><p><strong>In The End We Were Meant To Be<strong>

**This was published on the 24th of January 2012**

**Chapter 5**

**Hope**

**Thanks to **_W0ND3R__, __Kendalls LogieBear__, __BTRKogan__, __BreakFree__, __Jacques Descantes__, rawbbles, __itrymybest__, __Hikari no Kasai__, __MythoBoy__, __Rhett9__, __seddielover1311__, __OsnapitzT0Ri_** and **_Xbigtimerusherx_**. Keep it up guys.**

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><p>Kendall awoke in Logan's embrace, which brought a smile to his lips. He reached up and began to play with Logan's hair, the brunette mumbling something in his sleep, which Kendall thought was the cutest thing. He continued to watch Logan sleep, fiddling with his hair until, Logan stirred.<p>

"Hello," Kendall whispered smiling up at the brunette.

"Good morning," Logan mumbled back. They just stared at each other, before Kendall eventually turned away, sitting up in bed. Logan moved to hug him from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Logan asked. Kendall turned around, flopping back on to his bed.

"I have to cook Katie some breakfast," Kendall shrugged.

"And you can't sleep in for like five more minutes," Logan pouted. Kendall merely laughed at this.

"I'm sorry but I can't, and then I have to go be with Katie for the rest of the day," Logan sighed.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened to her."

Kendall smiled before explaining how hard things had been on her, with their father leaving and then their mother dying from cancer, and then how she had gotten in with the wrong group of people. It was hard to talk about, and Kendall rarely ever did talk about Katie with anyone, even with James and Carlos his two best friends.

Logan though made him feel rather comfortable; he felt like he didn't need to be so strong around Logan, and could show his vulnerable side, something that Kendall barely ever did.

"I'm really sorry, it sounds like things have been tough on you two," Kendall nodded, watching as Logan reached up wiping a stray tear from his cheek. Kendall laughed to cover his embarrassment, rubbing his eyes, as he muttered something about stupid allergies.

Logan smiled at him, as he got up holding out his hand. Kendall took it, and they walked out of the room to the kitchen, releasing hands when they saw James and Carlos at the kitchen table.

"Hey Kendall," Carlos said. "How was work last night?"  
>"Fine," Kendall shrugged.<p>

Logan watched the way that Kendall interacted with James and Carlos. Yesterday he didn't really notice it, but Kendall always had that bitter look of resentment in his eyes, when Carlos would run his fingers through James hair, or James would kiss Carlos on the cheek. Whenever they showed some sought of affection towards one another, Kendall would get this look, and it really hurt Logan.

He wondered what had happened to make Kendall like this, and he knew he would ask when they were alone later on. For now though, he settled for taking Kendall's hand in his, and leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. He saw the blush that appeared on Kendall's cheeks, which made him chuckle.

Logan spent the rest of the breakfast, showing Kendall affection every time he got that look in his eyes. By the end of breakfast, his eyes were a light with the feeling of jubilation, which made Logan smile. After Carlos left for work, and James had gone to the gym, the two went up to Katie's room, with a bowl of fruit.

"Hey Katie, you awake?" Kendall asked as he opened the door slowly. When he found out she was, he went and sat next to her bed, and began to feed her, talking about what they were going to do that day. Logan stood leaning against the doorframe, watching Kendall with his sister. It was a truly sad yet adorable sight. Sad because of the circumstances, but adorable because of how close the two were. Logan wished that he knew whether he had any relationships like this. He still didn't know whether he had any family or not. The thought really upset him.

Half an hour passed by, and when Kendall had finished feeding Katie, he got her up and in her wheelchair. Logan didn't know what they were going to do, but he followed as Kendall began to wheel Katie out of the house.

It was quiet, as Kendall wheeled Katie around. Logan couldn't say anything, for Katie couldn't see him. Kendall ended up in a park of some sought, where there were children running around freely, their parents trying to keep up with them. Logan had to laugh at the sight, of one kid struggling against his father's grasp, until he finally got free, the father sighing as he ran after the little kid again.

"Do you think I have a family?" Logan wondered out loud. Kendall looked towards him smiling sadly.

"Of course you do, I'm sure whatever happened, you have a very loving family-"  
>"Who are you talking to Kendall?" Katie asked.<p>

"What-oh no one," Kendall said, rolling his eyes at Logan who smiled sheepishly.

The three went back to walking in silence, enjoying the lovely weather. It was only when a petite girl with brown curly locks came jogging past them, that Logan stopped. He turned around to look at the girl who had run past them, something clicking in his mind. He looked over the girl from behind, wondering why something felt so familiar.

Kendall had continued to walk, only stopping when he realized Logan was no longer beside him. He turned around to see Logan running after some girl. He was a little confused but he saw the desperate look in Logan's eyes, as he waved his hands in front of the girl whilst shouting at her.

Kendall turned Katie around, and began to run after the girl calling out for her to stop. When she finally did, turning around looking a little confused, she looked at Kendall for a second, raising her eyebrows. Kendall finally caught up to her, stopping just in front of her, along with Katie.

"Um can I help you with something?" she asked.

"Oh um-"Kendall really hadn't thought what he was going to say, when he caught up with the woman.

"Her name is Camille Roberts," Logan told Kendall.

"Um, Camille...Camille Roberts," Kendall tried.

"Yeah, I'm sorry do I know you?"  
>"Tell her you're a friend of mine," Logan whispered.<p>

"Um, I'm Kendall Knight, I'm a friend of Logan Mitchell's."

Kendall watched as her face softened. She smiled, but there was a hint of sadness behind it.

"You're a friend...of Logan's."  
>"Ah yeah, we um go way back, you know-"<br>"He never mentioned you before?"  
>"Well um, we haven't seen much of each other lately, I've been ah really busy with..." he looked down to Katie. "Um, you know life and stuff."<p>

Camille looked down at Katie.

"Um this is my sister Katie," Kendall explained.

"His I'm Camille," Katie nodded in return, looking up at her brother curiously.

"Um, she's shy," Kendall said, smiling up at Camille.  
>"Okay enough with the small talk ask her if she's seen me anywhere," Logan interrupted.<p>

"Um, anyway I was just wondering if you've seen him around anywhere?" She looked slightly astonished by Kendall's words.

"I mean, I've just been trying to get in contact with him, and I haven't been able to," there was slight pause, where Camille just looked at Kendall.

"You haven't heard have you..."

When Kendall shook his head, Camille went on to explain what had happened. It was just over two weeks ago, was how she began off, and as she went on Logan began to remember. He had been in his car, driving to...He couldn't remember where he had been going, but he had been driving. He had dropped a CD, and bent down to pick it up before...

"The front of the other car hit him head on. We just-we should've offered to of taken him, then maybe-then maybe..." she stopped wiping the tears away from her eyes.

"Ask her if I'm alive," Logan ordered. Kendall put a comforting hand on Camille's shoulder first, not wanting to upset her.

"Is he-Is he d-dead?" Kendall asked, wishing he could take it back. What if Logan was dead, how was he going to deal with the news?

"N-No," Camille chocked out.

"Oh thank god," Kendall sighed in relief. He saw the expression on Logan's face as well, lighten at the prospect that he may get his life back.

"But it's not looking good," Camille continued on. "He had to be put into a medically induced coma. For the past two weeks we've been keeping an eye on his brain activity and it's decreasing every day. If he ever wakes up, the outcome could be quite severe. The crash damaged his frontal lobe, so if he does ever wake up, he could have severe brain damage. He could have memory loss, he could have speech impairment, and he might not be able to walk again," Kendall hadn't wanted to hear that, but it sounded like Camille had been bottling all of this in, and had just needed to let it all out.

"But there's still hope though right, he may recover and be fully healthy again right?"  
>"It's tricky, we just won't know until he wakes up. To be honest, it's just a mircale he's alive right now," Kendall could only watch Logan, as he fell to the ground his head in his hands. Kendall wanted to help him but he couldn't. There was nothing he could do whilst they were out in public.<p>

"Um, is he at St. Mary's hospital?" Kendall asked Camille.

"Ah yeah he is."  
>"Okay thank you," Kendall then grabbed Katie's wheel chair, and began to rush off. He figured that Logan would be able to find him, when he was ready to. Right now Kendall was just focused on helping Logan. He didn't look back, as he wheeled Katie back home, hoping that James would be back from the gym by now.<p>

As Kendall made it home, he opened the door, immediately calling out James' name.

"James are you home! James! JAMES!"  
>"Sheesh dude I'm in here!" James called back from the lounge. Kendall quickly made his way into the lounge.<p>

"Thank god your home, I need you to look after Katie."  
>"What dude why, where are you going?"<br>"I just need to do something," he went to walk away but was stopped by Katie.

"Kendall, what's going on? Who is this Logan guy, I mean I've never heard of him before."  
>"Wait whose Logan?" James now asked.<p>

The two began to bombard him with questions ranging from his recent behavior, to who the hell this Logan person was. Kendall was so consumed by all the questions that were being fired at him, that he almost jumped out of his skin, when he felt Logan's fingers wrap around his own.

"We need to go," Logan said. Kendall nodded as he turned back to James and Katie.

"Look, I need to go, so just do me this favor all right. I'll be back as soon as I can," with that Kendall turned on his heel, and marched out the door Logan by his side. Kendall just hoped that Logan was going to be all right. He didn't know if he could stand to see Logan look so broken, as for the way Camille described him, he had a feeling of exactly how he was going to look. Exactly like Katie had looked after her accident.

Kendall just couldn't go through that again, seeing someone's lose their ability to live their life; to be independent. As the two walked over to Kendall's car though hand in hand, he just hoped beyond hope that it was all going to be all right, and that was what he was holding onto. _Hope…_

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><p><strong>Okay so what do you guys think? Reviews appreciated :D<strong>


	6. Pray

**Okay so you find out more about what's going on, but not much more. I don't know but this ends in a cliff hanger, which I love to do. Anyways I hope you enjoy.**

**Also sorry for any spelling or gramatical errors. I wrote most of this up on FF so I hope I got them all, but if I didn't then I'm sorry:)**

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><p><strong>In The End We Were Meant To Be<strong>

**This was published on the 1st of February 2012**

**Chapter 6**

**Pray**

**Thanks to **_itrymybest__, kk, __BreakFree__, __MythoBoy__, __Hikari no Kasai__, __Rhett9__, rawbbles, __BTRKogan__, __seddielover1311__, __CaitiePaigee__, __W0ND3R__, __Jacques Descantes__, __unchartedfate__, __Xbigtimerusherx__, __OsnapitzT0Ri__, __Kendalls LogieBear_** and **_Velandrae_**. Your reviews mean the world to me, so keep em coming. Also thanks to all those who have story favourite or author alerted. Love you guys. xx**

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><p>As the two parked up outside St. Mary's hospital, Kendall felt his stomach churn. He began to remember the months spent here with Katie, and those months were not pleasant.<p>

"Don't worry it will be okay?" Logan whispered, intertwining his and Kendall's fingers giving a gentle squeeze.

"How can you be so sure?" Kendall asked hesitantly.

"I'm not, but you looked like you were about to pass out, so I wanted to give you some reassurance."  
>"Well it didn't help at all," Logan gave Kendall a little shrug, trying to smile but he couldn't at the present time. Everything that was happening was just too much to handle.<p>

They walked into the hospital hand in hand, but what Logan saw made him frown.

"Is everything okay?" Kendall asked, noticing the way Logan looked.

"Um, yeah I just, I know this place," Logan replied, looking around in a bewildered fashion.

"Well I mean it's a hospital-"  
>"No I mean I really no this place," Logan suddenly pointed out to a receptionist. "Her names Jenny, and she-she, she helped me once with something, I just I can't remember what it was," suddenly Logan's eyes went wide, as a petite blonde girl and a tall brunet man walked past them not even noticing Kendall.<p>

"I know them, ah D-Dak and Jo, they're my friends, I just-why is this place so familiar."  
>"I don't know, maybe you've like been here heaps of times before-"at that precise moment, someone came rushing through the double door's ahead of them. There was a man, who was on top of a gurney, knees either side of a woman as he pressed down upon her chest. There were many other nurses and doctors following after the gurney, with all sorts of equipment that had Kendall baffled. Kendall moved to the side, as they rushed past him, saying all sorts of complicated words, none of which Kendall understood.<p>

Logan however just stared as they passed him, rubbing his head as he tried to remember.

"Is everything all right?" Kendall asked.

"What, oh um yeah, it's just. There's just something, I mean I know all these people, there's Sasha and Curby," Logan said pointing to people as they passed him, "And I just, I understood what they were saying as they past us, and I knew what they were about to do, and I-I –I think I worked here."  
>"You mean, you were a doctor," Logan nodded.<p>

"Wow."  
>"Yeah," neither of them had time to say anything, as a man who looked far too vain for his own good came up to Kendall.<p>

"Hello I'm Jett Stetson, attending physician here at St. Mary's. Is there any way I can help you?" The man Kendall now knew as Jett asked. Logan took one look at Jett, and remembered exactly who he was.

"Oh god, I seriously hate this guy. He is such a douche bag," Logan said, which made Kendall laugh.

"I'm sorry is there something funny?"  
>"Oh ah no," Kendall replied managing to control his giggles. "Um, I'm here to visit ah Logan Mitchell."<br>"Logan Mitchell?" Jett said, raising an eye-brow.

"Um is there a problem?" Kendall's heart almost dropped to his stomach, as he thought of there being a problem. He just couldn't take losing someone else; it was just too much.

"No, I just need to know your relationship with Mr Mitchell."  
>"Relationship?"<p>

Kendall glanced towards Logan.

"Say you're my boyfriend," Kendall's eyes widened slightly. "He needs to know we were intimately connected with each other, otherwise he can't tell you anything."  
>"He was ah my boyfriend."<br>"Boyfriend?" Jett said in a questioning tone.

Kendall didn't know why he sounded so questioning. Did he not look good enough for Logan or something? Those thoughts vanished when Jett said, "That's a surprise."  
>"What do you mean?" Kendall asked.<p>

"It's just I've worked with the guy for years now, and I've never known of a single relationship he's ever been in. He's always been a bit anti-social you know. He spent all of his time here, I mean I honestly thought he was going to end up as one of those people who have dozens of cats. It's just a bit of a surprise to know that he has a boyfriend at all."

Kendall was a bit shocked to hear all of this, for with Logan's looks he would've thought that he would've had tonnes of people drooling all over him. He turned to Logan, who looked like he wanted to punch this Jett guy.

"Told you you were a virgin," Kendall muttered smiling. Logan looked over to him, narrowing his eyes.

"Just find out where I am," Logan hissed.

"Um, okay so um, can I see him now?" Jett nodded and began to lead Kendall away. Kendall was extremely nervous, for he wanted everything to be okay. He wasn't sure though that it would be.

As they arrived in front of a white door, Jett stopped and turned to Kendall.

"His sister's in there at the moment with her two children," Jett started. "I'll be back later to see how everything's going," Kendall nodded, as Jett walked away. He then turned to Logan.

"I have a sister," Logan started off.

"Is that weird or something?"  
>"No I just, I have been wanting to know if I have family for what feels like ages. I'm just glad I know now."<br>"Yeah, so you ready?" Kendall asked, putting his hand on the door handle.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Kendall nodded one last time before he pushed open the door. When Kendall walked in the first thing he saw was Logan's motionless body, with tubes sticking out from everywhere. As he got a closer look, his breath hitched in his throat. Logan looked so broken. He had scars all over his face, and every inch of bare skin that Kendall could see. With all the wires and needles sticking out of him, he looked so fragile.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Kendall looked up, to see a woman standing before him.

"My sister Lucy," Logan said. His voice sounded strange, like he was void of any emotion, but at the same time sowing all the emotion that he ever could.

"Um, I'm ah Kendall Knight I am um, L-Logan's," Kendall took a deep breath before continuing, "boyfriend," he finished. He wondered why he had said that. Surely Logan's sister would know if Logan had boyfriend, but he couldn't take it back now.

"Boyfriend?" Lucy said incredulously. "That's ridiculous, god knows Logan didn't have a boyfriend."  
>"Everyone just loves to rub that in don't they?" Kendall smiled at Logan, seeing how he looked so lost standing where he was.<p>

"Um, well here I am so…yeah," Kendall trailed off, feeling the most awkward he had in a long time.

"Logan would've told me, if he had a boyfriend. We tell each other everything."  
>"You need to lie," Logan muttered, as he moved forward, to be closer to his body.<p>

"Um well, I um, it was fairly recent and um, I'm not out yet to anybody, and we were just waiting for the right time to tell everybody and um yeah," Kendall finished lamely.

He watched as Lucy studied him, her eyes watching his every move.

"So why are you telling me now then."  
>"Well because I needed to come and see Logan to m-make sure he is okay, and t-there's just no point in lying anymore I guess."<p>

"So where have you been then. He's been here for over two weeks, where have you been?"  
>"I only just heard this morning, for I've um been away on um, on business," Kendall hoped that she would stop with all the questions. He had never been a good liar, and he was surprised he had made it this far.<p>

Lucy looked him over once more, before she sighed looking back over to Logan. He watched as she took a seat right next to Logan's bed, taking his hand in hers. That was the first time that Kendall noticed two children, both little girls who sat together in one seat next to their mother. They smiled up at him, giving him a wave. Kendall did the same in return.

Kendall wasn't really sure what to do after that, so he just took a seat opposite Lucy next to Logan's bed.

"Do you know if he's going to be all right?" Kendall finally asked breaking the silence.

"No, the doctor's say we just have to wait and see if he wakes up. He might not do that yet. He just looks so broken, and I mean I'm his sister. I just want to be able to fix it all," Kendall felt his heart skip a beat. What if Logan didn't wake up? He thought. But there had to be some reason Kendall could see him, didn't there? There were so many questions that Kendall wanted answered, but there was really no one who could answer them.

"You guys are close huh?" Kendall asked. Lucy smiled at that.

"Yeah we always have been. We ah were not actually related," Kendall looked confused by that. He looked over to Logan, who was now smiling.

"I remember now," Logan spoke softly.

"Um we were raised in foster care together," Lucy said. "Logan never really talked about his parents. Mine died in a plane crash when I was three."  
>"I'm sorry to hear that," Kendall replied.<p>

"You don't really miss what you never really knew. I just we've always taken care of one another you know. It's always been me and him, and now," Lucy wiped a stray tear away. "I just want him to wake up, and for eveything to be all right again," her two children jumped into her lap, and cuddled into her in a comforting way.

"I've always just said she was my sister you know. Even though we never were really, we would always call each other that," Logan began, "You know when I saw you and Katie, I wanted to know so badly if I had that bond with someone like that. I'm just glad I know now," Kendall watched Lucy and her chidlren for a bit, before Logan spoke again.

"How come you can see me but she can't," Kendall honestly didn't have the answer to that. Lucy eventually pulled away from her children smiling down at them.

"Are you okay mummy."  
>"Fine sweetheart, everything's going to be all right," her two children found their way back to their seat, as Lucy once again looked up at Kendall.<p>

"I'm sorry just really emotional," Lucy said looking Kendall over once again.

"I understand," this time though, Lucy didn't stop looking at Kendall.

"Is something wrong?"

"No I just-I just need to ask, have we met before?" Lucy asked. Kendall looked at her, wondering what had brought this on.

"Um, I don't think so," Kendall replied.

"Oh, it's just you looked really familiar, I just can't place you though?" Kendall looked Lucy over, and now that she mentioned it, she did looked familiar as well.

"Your right, but I don't know where I've seen you before."

Kendall began to think but his thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket.

"Um sorry I just-"  
>"It's fine," Lucy said so Kendall pulled it out, and flipped it open to see James name flickering across the screen. He opened the text to read it.<p>

_Hey man, just got a call from my agent. He got me an audition that's in an hour, and I need to get myself pretty before I go. You need to get back here to look after Katie. _

Kendall sighed looking down at the message.

"You should go," Kendall jumped slightly, earning a strange look from Lucy, but he kept his focus upon his phone, as he began to type out a message.

_I don't have to,_ he typed. _I can tell him to take her to Carlos'._

"No you should get back to her, I'm all right here," Logan replied as he read the text over Kendall's shoulder. Logan then put his arms around Kendall's front, leaning his chin on Kendall's shoulder.

"Besides your sister needs you."  
><em><br>_

_What are you going to do?_ Kendall typed out again.

"I'm going to stay here, try and put me back together," Logan chuckled.

_Will I ever see you again_, Kendall typed.

"If I ever wake up, I'll make sure to come and find you," Logan whispered. "I need to thank you in person for helping me," Kendall smiled at that. "You're an amazing guy you know," Logan whispered, "And if I don't see you again, I hope you find eternal happiness. If anyone deserves that it's you," Logan then leant forward, kissing Kendall on the cheek. Kendall smiled at that, before he stood up.

"I'm sorry I ah have to go, I need to get back to look after my baby sister," Kendall explained to Lucy.

"Oh ok, well it was nice to meet you, or meet you again, I'm still not sure," Lucy smiled extending out his hand. Kendall took it gratefully, shaking it with a smile.

"It was nice to meet you to," he replied laughing a little bit. When Kendall let go of her hand, he immediately grabbed Logan's, squeezing it tightly. He then looked up at Logan. "Goodbye Logan," he spoke softly. The moment he let go of Logan's hand, he rushed out of the room not being able to take it anymore. The tears came out, streaming down his face, as he choked back sobs. If he hadn't been so preoccupied by getting away from Logan's body as fast as possible, in attempt to dull the pain that was now subsiding in his heart, he would've seen what had happened next.

"What happening?" Lucy screamed, as she looked down at Logan. He was beginning to shake and spasm, the machine that was continuously beeping, now flat lining.

"Somebody help!" Lucy screamed, as Logan began to convulse. She moved back as Doctors and nurses came flooding in, surrounding Logan as they tried to help him.

"Get me a crash cart in here now!" One of them screamed.

Logan watched the Doctor's work, as his sister began to struggle against some of the nurses who were trying to get her out the room along with her children. He soon began to feel himself fade, and come back. It was the scariest feeling, for he had no idea what was going to happen. He could only pray that god would come through for him. He had never been a spiritual man, but things were definitely changing for him. He began to pray like he never had before, watching the doctors do their best to keep him alive.

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><p><strong>Evil aren't I. I felt so sad writing this, but I also personally loved how it turned out. Not to toot my own horn or anything but yeah. So what's going to happen next you all wonder, review and perhaps you will find out faster.<strong>

**Also I am going to start up a Kames and Cargan fic soon. They are both going to be seriously smutty, because I want to work on my smut, so keep an eye out for them. **

**Also ugh! I know this is an M, but I need some help guys. I haven't really decided where I'm going to go with this, so answer the question to help me out.**

**If Kendall and Logan are ever to see each other again, should Kendall and Logan have spirit/human sex or would that be too weird? Okay R & R**

**Love ya xoxo**


	7. Realization

**Yeah okay, sorry for taking so long to update. With that out of the way, this is pretty long chapter for me anyway. I also totally love it. I put a lot of work into this, so I hope you guys all like it as well. Also I know heaps of people voted for spirit/human sex, and because of that I really did try, but the way I wrote it just came out awkward, and the writing just didn't flow, so sorry no human/spirit sex. Also sorry if there is any spelling mistakes. The computer I was using didn't have spell check. I think I got all of them but I'm not to sure so again sorry if you see any.**

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><p><strong>In the end we were meant to be <strong>

**This was written on 12****th**** of February 2012**

**Chapter 7**

**Realization**

**Thanks to **_MythoBoy, Rhett9, Jacques Descantes, WOND3R, Hikari No Kasai, kk, pikagurl12, seddielover1311, BTRKogan, Breakfree, Cocobananas, CaitiePaigee, rawbbles, OsnapitzTORi, itrymybest _**and **_IceRush _**for all your lovely reviews. Please keep them coming, they're what inspire me.**

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><p>Kendall didn't go home. He didn't feel the need to even though he had told James he would. He knew he should've for James had said this audition was important or something like that. He just couldn't find it in himself to care though. Kendall just wanted to be by himself for once, where he could just worry about what was going on his life.<p>

He felt like all through his life he had always had someone else to worry about. When he was little, his mother and father had always used to fight a lot. It was hard to put up with, and when things had gotten really bad Kendall had always found himself comforting Katie. She had cried into his chest. He had held and comforted her. He had never had someone to do that for him. When his father had left, he had become the man of the house. His mother had had to work a lot to pay for everything, and after schools when his mother wasn't there, they had a baby sitter who was a teenager. He never really looked after the two, and just sat in their living room watching television and eating their food. Kendall again had to look after Katie himself, for he could never tell his mother the baby sitter wasn't doing his job. They didn't have a lot of money as it was, and his rates were cheap. When his mother had gotten sick, Kendall and Katie didn't have a baby sitter anymore. He looked after Katie himself and helped his mother when he could. He had even gotten a job to help out. When she had died, and they had been moved to his grandparents, again he had to do a lot. They were old, and they had really only taken the two in because they had no where else to go. Now he was looking after Katie full time.

He had always been looking after someone else; caring for someone else. He couldn't think of a single time when it had only been about him. Where he could sit down and talk about him for once. It had always been about someone else. He had always told himself that one day he would find someone who would make him feel like it was all about him. Who would cherish and love him. Who would hold him when he was down, and let him cry to them for a change. Even in his relationships he hadn't had that. They had just ended up breaking him even more. He remembered the first relationship had been in like it was yesterday.

(Flashback)

_Kendall had been dating Reese Walters for two months now. Reese was a god to Kendall, but Reese was much older as he was turning seventeen next month. Kendall adored Reese but at times Reese made him feel like he wasn't good enough. He was always saying something things to Kendall to put him down, but then he would turn around and be all lovey dovey with Kendall again. Kendall wasn't sure what to make of it, but he didn't care. He was young and naïve and so sure of himself. Kendall knew he was in love. _

_That night he had a date with Reese. He arrived at Reese' house fashionably late, before he knocked on the door. When Reese answered however, Kendall was a little confused. He didn't seem to look ready for the date. Kendall had planned this one, and he had told his boyfriend to dress fancy like as they were to a classy restaurant._

"_Reese, we have to get going we have a boo-"Kendall was cut off by Reese's lips crashing against his. He wasn't really sure what was going on, so he just went with it, reaching up to wrap his arms around Reese's neck, as Reese pried Kendall's lips apart with his tongue, slipping his tongue into Kendall's warm cavern. They made out for a couple of minuet's before Kendall pulled back panting heavily, resting his forehead against his boyfriend._

"_Reese," Kendall whined. "We need to go."  
>"Why don't we just stay here tonight," Reese suggested.<em>

"_Um I mean we should really go-"Reese again cut Kendall off, as he began to kiss him again. This time it was more forceful though, and Kendall was having trouble keeping up._

_When Reese reached behind him and gripped onto his ass, Kendall pulled back up looking up at him innocently._

"_What are you doing?" Kendall hissed, trying to move back, but Reese's firm grip kept in place._

"_Come on Ken, why don't we just do it okay," Reese said, before he was on Kendall again. Everything was moving so fast, and Kendall wasn't really sure how to stop it all. Reese had him pinned against a wall, as they grinded against each other, when Kendall finally put a stop to it._

"_Reese, stop," he said pushing his boyfriend away._

"_Babe come on, let's just do it," Reese tried again, but Kendall kept him at bay._

"_Reese stop, I'm not ready for this!"  
>"Come on, we've been together for two months. We should've done this already. It's not as if we haven't fooled around anyways."<br>"But this is different, I'm not ready and you should accept that."  
>"Do you not love me?" Reese asked, turning away from Kendall.<em>

"_What, of course I love you!" Kendall tried._

"_Well then we should do this. It's called making love Kendall, and I know I love you, and I thought you loved me but now I'm not so sure."  
>"I do love you though, I love you so much I'm just not ready-"<br>"You know what Kendall maybe you should just go. I never thought you of all people would reject me like this."_

_Kendall couldn't believe this was happening. He had thought they would have a nice time out at dinner, and now he was on the verge of tears as Reese began to walk away from him._

"_Wait!" Kendall shouted, which made Reese turn back to look at him._

"_I love you, you know I do, and I never meant to reject you. I'm just scared this is my first time," Reese came back over, and began to caress Kendall's cheek lovingly._

"_You don't have to worry. I'll take good care of you."_

_Kendall knew he wasn't ready. He wanted to wait, and for it to be special, but he didn't want to lose Reese at the same time. Reese kissed him once more before he took his hand and led him upstairs. That night Kendall lost his virginity. It hurt like hell, and he never really got to feel any pleasure because Reese came before he even really got started. Afterwards they just lay there. Kendall wanted to cuddle, to be smiling up at Reese who was now his lover. None of that happened however. Eventually Reese had just told Kendall that he should probably go home. Kendall had gotten up, wincing slightly as he had put his clothes on. He had then left, not sure why he felt sick to his stomach._

_After that Kendall's and Reese's relationship became all about sex. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but instead of going out they would just fuck. It wasn't even what you would call love making either. They were just fucking in Kendall's eyes, and every time it happened it really hurt him._

_The night that Kendall had gone over to Reese's to have a 'movie marathon' was the night that everything had changed. Reese had invited him in, and instead of going up to Reese's room like Kendall had thought they would, he had taken them to the lounge where he sat Kendall down on the couch._

"_Kendall we need to talk," Reese had started off by saying._

"_A-About what?"  
>"About us, it's just not working. All you are is sex, and I'm just not into that anymore. I want someone I can have an actually relationship with, where it's more than just the physical side of things," Kendall felt the tears spring to his eyes at this.<em>

"_But I thought that was what you wanted. I mean I can be that person, we don't need to have sex all the time-"  
>"It's to late I've made my mind up. I've actually found someone else, and he really loves me. I can talk with him about everything. I'm sorry but we're just never going be like that."<br>"But we can. I mean we can make this work please-"  
>"I'm sorry but you just a far to easy. It's always the same with you, sex this and sex that-"<br>"I didn't even want to have sex in the first place!" Kendall exclaimed flinging his arms wide._

"_If you didn't then why did you do it. Come on Kendall, just let it go. It wasn't working so just move on." _

(End Flashback)

Kendall would never get over that. The first time he had been hurt by someone he truly had believed he had loved. It would always stay with him, engraved into his brain. It wasn't the first time he had felt heartbreak though.

(Flashback)

_It was a around about a year after Reese had broken up with Kendall. For the first six months, he hadn't really had a stable relationship. He had just sought of hooked up with people at parties that his friends held. These people barely even seemed to remember him the next day, even though he woke up in their arms after a night of drunken sex. _

_The next four months however were spent with a guy named Leon. Kendall was happy. Leon hadn't pressured Kendall into anything, and when they had had sex it had felt amazing, more than Kendall had ever wanted. Sure Leon wasn't perfect. The two fought sometimes, but Kendall was happy and that was all he wanted. _

_It was Leon's and Kendall's fourth month anniversary, and Kendall had gotten of work an hour early so he could spend more time with Leon. Leon didn't know that Kendall was coming over early, but Kendall wanted to surprise him. He had thought they could go for a romantic walk down the beach, before they went to their favourite restaurant._

_When Kendall arrived at Leon's home, he knocked but didn't get an answer. When he tried for the door, he realised it was unlocked so he opened it. He heard it first. The sound of high pitched moan, and loud grunts. Kendall didn't want to think the worst. He knew what it sounded like but it surely couldn't be what he thought. He followed the noise to the lounge to see Leon on top of a woman, who was begging to be fucked harder. _

_Kendall couldn't believe it. He hadn't even said anything as he was frozen to the _

_spot, but when Leon looked up he saw Kendall._

"_Shit!" Leon screamed as he pulled out the woman, who looked up to see what was going on._

"_Kendall, what are you doing here. I-I thought we didn't have plans for another hour," the two were now trying to cover themselves up, each of them embarrassed by being caught in what they were doing._

"_I just thought we could go for a romantic walk before hand," Kendall said in an eerily calm tone, even though he was just so hurt, filled by the dull aching pain that was weighing down his entire being._

_Leon didn't even say anything. He just stared at Kendall._

"_Well um…" Leon trailed off, as the woman now stood up having managed to cover herself up a bit._

"_Maybe I should just go," she said, as she stood and walked away without another word. The distant sound of the door shutting, brought Kendall back to where he was; to what he just witnessed._

_There was an awkward moment of silence, before Leon spoke up._

"_Are you okay?"  
>"Okay, how can I be okay after what just happened?"<br>"I don't know, I mean come one we were just-"  
>"Don't you dare finish that sentence you arrogant pig! How could you do this to me and sit there as if what you did is okay! You're a selfish, egotistical bastard!" Kendall screamed, wanting nothing more than to pound on Leon right now.<em>

"_Come on your overreacting-"  
>"OVER-REACTING!" Kendall was livid now. He had never felt so angry in his life. "HOW CAN YOU SIT THERE AND SAY THAT! HOW CAN YOU AFTER YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!" Kendall cried.<em>

"_Don't be so pathetic," Kendall stopped being so angry at those words. He went from being ready to rip Leon's balls off in a rage of unfathomable fury, to feeling such hurt, such sadness in a matter of seconds._

"_You were only ever a quick fuck to me, and not even a good one at that. I never loved you, and you were so stupid as to believe someone could ever love a stupid slut like you," as that Kendall stepped forward, without really knowing what he was doing and slapped Leon across the face. He may have gotten the first hit in, but he didn't get the last. If Leon's parents hadn't come home, Kendall was sure he would've been beaten to a pulp. _

_He walked away from Leon's house feeling worth nothing. He felt such sorrow, such a blinding pain that was slicing through him like a white hot knife. He just walked, and walked not knowing where he was going; what he was doing. That night was mostly a blur to Kendall even now, but it was also one night that he would never forget._

(End Flashback)

After that Kendall had never been the same. His life was filled which such anguish and despair. Now the one person who for once, made him feel like he was worth something, was in a hospital where he was potentially facing a lifetime of hardship, or worse death.

Kendall found himself at a beach. He loved the beach. He felt stupid but he had always wanted to make love upon the sand, underneath the stars. It was just something he had always wanted to do. He lay down on the sand by himself, and began to think about everything. He had wanted to go back to Logan, and had almost done so multiple times. He hadn't been able to go through with it though. He couldn't go back, because he would then have to leave again. It was hard enough leaving the first time.

He just wished they had met under different circumstances. Maybe they could've been great together, but now Kendall would never know for sure. Kendall lay there for how long he didn't know, until he got up and decided he needed to go back to the house. He knew he would have a lot of apologising to do. He felt bad for leaving James, but he really needed the time he had just had.

When he got back he walked through the front door, and into the kitchen to be met with a sight that sent a jolt of pain coursing through him. Carlos was in James lap as they shared open mouthed kisses, their hands roaming over each others bodies in such a loving way. Kendall really just wished that they could be somewhere else doing this. They just had to be right here when he walked in didn't they?

He finally cleared his throat, watching as the two lovers sprung apart.

"Kendall," Carlos said rather flustered by being caught in the act. James though didn't seem embarrassed at all.

"Where were you?" James said, looking rather angry.

"Out," was all Kendall said in reply.

"Out," James spat, looking furious. "You ask me to baby sit your sister, and then when I need you to come back, you just don't show. Your just lucky that I could get someone in, otherwise I would've missed the chance of a lifetime,."

Kendall didn't even bother replying as he walked over to the kitchen counter, and began to busy himself with making a cup of camomile tea.

"Just in case you were wondering I got the part. I'm going to be modelling in a campaign for one of the newest products in the Cuda line."

Kendall wanted to feel happy for his friend. This was big news for him, and Kendall knew how much James loved all the Cuda products. He just couldn't seem to find it in himself to do so though. To be honest, Kendall had always been extremely jealous of James and Carlos. They both came from good families; families that stuck by them no matter what, and gave them anything they desired. They had had everything growing up, the best clothes, the best toys. What Kendall was most envious of though, was the fact that they had found what he craved for the most. Love.

They had found love at the young age of fourteen. They had been together that long, and they had never let go of each other since. Kendall wanted what they had; he wanted to feel like he mattered to someone in the world more than anything. And the fact they unknowingly rubbed it in his face that they had it and he didn't, made him sick to his stomach.

"No thanks to you though-"  
>"James don't," Kendall came back when he heard this. He had been stirring his tea for a while now, so he probably looked rather suspicious to Carlos.<p>

"Ken is everything okay?" Carlos asked, the worry clear in his voice.

"I'm fine Carlos," Kendall finally replied, removing the spoon from his tea, and bringing the cup to his lips. When he finished taking a sip, he put the cup down on the counter then turned around to face his friends.

"Sorry James, your right I should've been here, and I honestly have no excuse as to why I'm not. I'm really happy you got the part though," Kendall could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"Ken are you sure-"  
>"I'm going to go lie down," Kendall interrupted Carlos. He went to go to his room, but was stopped by Carlos saying, "Don't you have work ?"<p>

Kendall sighed when he heard this. He wanted nothing more than to go and lie in his bed, and cry until he couldn't anymore, and then hopefully cry some more. He knew however that he needed to go, it was to late to call in sick. He stood in the hall for a minuet, deliberating what to do before he turned around going back to his truck.

"I'll be back late," he shouted out, as he closed the door, before he walked over to his truck getting in and driving to work.

He was a couple of hours into his shift and he was already tired of it. He had just had to refuse a customer, because he was to intoxicated to have another beer. As the old man got up, flinging a string of curse words Kendall's way, Kendall wished he was anywhere but where he was. Not only had that happened, but earlier on the night, he had had to sought out a kid who had a fake I.D, and clean up someone's vomit because they had not been able to make it to the bathroom. All round this night was just getting worse as the seconds ticked by.

As Kendall was cleaning up the counter, he heard someone clear their throat in front of him. He looked up to see the guy from the night before.

"Hey gorgeous," Kendall smiled, for this was what he needed. A quick fuck to distract him from everything that was going on.

"Hey handsome," Kendall flirted back making the man before him smile. He already had a drink in hand, so Kendall guessed Michael had already served him. He was sucking on the straw seductively, fluttering his eyes lashes at Kendall.

"So," he let go of the straw, licking his lips. "What are you up to after. Are you perhaps up for round two."

Kendall was about to reply yes, but before he could thought of Logan surfaced to mind. He had said something to him last night, something that Kendall had never been told before. He smiled as he remembered the exact wording. Logan was right; he did deserve better than this.

"Um you know what, I'm actually really busy after my shift," Kendall replied smiling for once that day.

"Come on baby," the guy said, trailing his fingers along the counter towards Kendall's hand. Kendall wrenched his hand back before he could latch onto it though.

"You know what. I'm not some whore that you can have your way with okay. I'm not going to just spread my legs for you anymore okay, so unless you want another drink, I suggest you leave this fine establishment, now!"

Kendall was rather proud of himself. He had never stood up to anyone like that before.

"Honey come on, we had a good time last night didn't we."  
>"I consider a good time, a lot more than two minuets sweetie, now if you don't mind I have a job to do," Kendall went to walk away, but the guys grabbed his hand with a vice-like grip, pulling him back.<p>

"You'd do best not to insult me like that-"  
>"Let go of me!" Kendall shouted, trying to pull away. Before he could though, the guy was falling to the ground right in front of him, clutching his face in pain. Kendall looked up to see Michael standing next to him.<p>

"Now I suggest you leave now, before we call the cops!" Michael spat, watching as the guy walked away, screeching threats at them, none of which either of them took notice of.

"Are you all right?" Michael asked.

"Yeah just a little shaken up I guess, I'll be fine though," Michael nodded, looking over Kendall with concern.

"Are you sure?"  
>"Yeah fine, and um thanks for that."<br>"Yeah no problem. It's just, I mean, I've never seen you act like that before. Normally you're all up for it," Kendall chuckled at that.

"Um yeah, I know."  
>"What changed?" Kendall began to twiddle his thumbs, a red tinge spreading over his cheeks, as he smiled like a school girl who had a crush.<p>

"Someone I know told me that I deserved better, and I guess I believe him."

He looked up at Michael who was smiling back at him.

"That man sounds very wise."  
>"Yeah he is," Kendall bit down on his lips, now realising who he just been talking about. He felt a stray tear fall, which he wiped away quickly.<p>

"Are you sure your okay Kendall."  
>"Yeah I just um, I fine," he could feel the barriers were about to break, and he really didn't want that to be in front of Michael.<p>

"Hey how about you go home. I can cover here for the rest of the night."  
>"Are you sure."<br>"Yeah totally. Go home and get some rest, you look like you need it."  
>"Thanks Michael," Michael nodded as Kendall shed his apron and walked out the bar.<p>

When he got into his truck, he broke down. He let it all out, and it felt so good to do so. He cried all the ride home, and all the way up to the front door step. He kept quiet as he walked up the stairs to his room so he didn't wake up anyone, and when he closed his door, he jumped onto his bed and once again cried, the sound muffled by his pillow.

"Kendall," he almost jumped out of his skin, when he heard his name, but as soon a he registered who's voice it was that was talking a smile spread across his face.

"Logan," he turned over on his bed, to see that trademark lopsided smile. Kendall smiled widely, as he launched forward into Logan's arms. He hugged Logan tightly wanting to never let go. He was so glad when the brunette held him tightly in return.

"I'm so glad your back," Kendall mumbled into the crook of Logan's shoulder,

loving the way Logan hands went to his hair, running his fingers through his blond locks lovingly.

When the two finally pulled away, Kendall saw the look in Logan's eyes. He looked so lost and vulnerable.

"Logan what's wrong?" Kendall asked.

"I think I should be asking you that. You're the one crying your eyes out," Logan reached up wiping Kendall's tears away. "What's wrong?"  
>"It's nothing, I just really missed you is all."<br>"Aw I missed you to," Kendall was so happy to hear this.

"So what's wrong?" Kendall asked again.

"It's n-nothing to worry about. Let's just spend tonight together okay."  
>"Logan please," Kendall pleaded. He could tell something was wrong. He could hear it in Logan's voice, see it in his eyes.<p>

"I'm dying Kendall," Logan said bluntly making Kendall gasp.

"W-What…"  
>"Yeah after you left, I went into cardiac arrest, my heart gave out. I just-I was so close to death, I even felt it. I felt myself fading, and it was so scary," Kendall heard the tremors in Logan's voice. He knew he was frightened of what was about to happen.<p>

"B-But you made I-it through right. You wouldn't be here otherwise."  
>"I made it through yeah, b-but they I heard the doctors say my brain was starved of oxygen for to long. They think that I'm probably never going to wake up. Their taking me off life support tomorrow."<p>

Kendall was so shocked. When he had seen Logan he had felt such joy, like he was whole again. Now it was all being taken away from him.

"N-No, there must be something we can d-do."  
>"It's to late, there's nothing that can be done."<br>"N-No there must be something, anything," Kendall was so desperate. This couldn't be it for him.

"I'm so sorry."

Kendall was again in Logan's arms desperately trying to hold on, like if he were to let go Logan would just disappear there and then.

"P-Please d-don't le-leave me-me, p-please, p-please," Kendall cried. It was ironic how Logan comforted him, running his fingers softly anywhere that he could reach, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

"Don't cry, it's going to be okay, you're going to be okay," Kendall didn't believe a word of what Logan said. He had lost so much already, he couldn't lose anymore. The two lay in each other's embrace, holding onto each other so tightly never wanting to let go.

"Is it r-really g-going to be your l-last night," Kendall whimpered, looking up at Logan.

"I-I think so."  
>"Maybe I c-could go talk to t-them, tell them t-that your s-still here and maybe they wouldn't-"<br>"I can't let you do that Kendall. They'll lock you up in a psych ward, and you still have so much of your life ahead of you."  
>"But w-we have to do s-something," Logan sighed when Kendall said this.<p>

"There is something you can do for me."  
>"What I-I'll do anything."<br>"I'm just-I'm done fighting. I'm going to die tomorrow, and as scary as that thought is, I just want my last night to be the best ever."  
>"W-What do you want t-to do," Logan didn't hesitate to answer.<p>

"I just want to lie with you, no tears, no crying. I just want to lie here with you okay," Kendall nodded to this.

Logan moved so he was on his back, and Kendall moved so his head lay on Logan's chest. The two lay in a comfortable silence just enjoying each other's company.

"I'm not a virgin you know," Logan laughed. Kendall laughed as well, as how odd the sentence had been.

"Oh yeah, and how do you know that."  
>"I just remembered a lot at the hospital today. I kind of just hung around, trying to figure everything out. I've never been in love, I remember that much, but I lost my virginity in the back seat of a car."<br>"Well that's romantic."  
>"Yeah, I just was getting teased about being a virgin by my buddies at med school, and I just went out and did it. I was drunk and the person wasn't even special to me, and afterwards I just felt like an idiot. I only remember having one boyfriend after that, but we broke a part mutually. We were just acting to much like friends towards the end. That was really it to be honest. I mean after that, I started working at the hospital, and it just took up so much of my time. I wanted to be such a success, I put the patients before myself. I just kept saying they'll always be tomorrow to worry about this sought of stuff. I just never thought there wouldn't be a tomorrow."<p>

Kendall wasn't really sure what to say. He was kind of the same boat as Logan was. They both put other people before themselves, and look where it had landed them.

"D-Do you think it will h-hurt?" Logan asked, and upon seeing Kendall's confusion he added, "Dying I mean."

Kendall didn't know how to answer the question, but he knew he had to be as gentle as possible.  
>"I don't think so. It will just be like going to sleep," Logan smiled at that, which in turn made Kendall smile.<p>

"I just keep thinking why you, you know? I mean I figured we had to have met somewhere. I mean why would only a random stranger be able to see me, but not even my own sister can. I know I would've remembered you if I had met you though. There's no way I could forget meeting someone like you."  
>"I know what you mean, I could never forget a face like yours. But how else could we see each other then."<br>"I don't know. I just I can't think of what else it could be."

Kendall began to think. He literally saw so many people each day. Working at the bar, he met dozens of people a night. He served so many customers it was hard to remember them all. Maybe he met Logan at the bar one night, and he was just a customer. He could've just ordered one drink, and Kendall probably wouldn't of thought much of it.

"Maybe you went to the bar one time."  
>"hmmm?"<br>"The bar I work at, maybe you went there one time and I served you. I serve so many people a night, maybe I was just so tired I didn't really take any notice," Kendall looked up at Logan, and he saw it in his face. Something had clicked.

"I was right, I did serve you-"  
>"No you didn't," Kendall could see Logan's brain ticking, as he tried to remember. When it all came back to him, he saw it in his eyes. "but at the time I didn't remember but now-Kendall I was going to that bar the night I had the accident," Logan exclaimed.<p>

"Wait what?"  
>"Yeah I was going there, Lucy was there and she said something, I can't remember but then Camille made me go there for some reason, I just can't-I can't remember."<p>

Kendall brain was ticking away though. Lucy had been at the bar one night. She had been there, and it was at that moment that he knew what it was.

"I knew I knew Lucy from somewhere."  
>"Lucy, how do you know her?"<br>"I just I served her one and she-"It was all making sense to Kendall now. "She had drunken a lot. That's probably why she didn't remember me. And she-she said-"  
>"Kendall she said what!" Logan yelled wanting to know what was going on.<p>

"She wanted me to meet you. She was on the phone with you, and she wanted-she wanted to set us up."

The two's eyes widened at this.

"We were meant to meet each other," Logan whispered his hand going to Kendall's cheek to gently stroke it.

"We were meant to find each other," Kendall whispered back.

The two stared into each other's eyes, never once blinking or moving to look away. In unison they both moved forward, until their noses were touching, and their hot breaths could be felt against each other's lips. Kendall moved forward, sealing the distance between them, as he placed his lips against Logan's. It was like the first time they had kissed, but it was so much more intense. Kendall arms went to drape his arms around Logan's neck, his legs moving to wrap around Logan's waist to pull them closer together. Logan's hand moved to grip Kendall's ass, kneading his cheeks making him moan in what could only be pleasure. When he moaned, Logan slipped his tongue past Kendall lips, and began to explore his mouth, attacking Kendall's tongue. There was a short battle for dominance, which Logan eventually won.

Logan then moved to straddle Kendall moving from his mouth to his neck. He began to bite down, but it didn't leave a mark or anything. Logan wanted to mark Kendall as his own, but nothing seemed to work. He was upset by this, but Kendall didn't even seem to notice. He grabbed Logan's face in his hands and pulled him back up as they shared sloppy wet kisses filled by the sound of their moans intertwined into one.

Logan was reaching for the hem of Kendall's top, but when he tried to pull it up, he couldn't seem to do it. He groaned in frustration, but again Kendall didn't seem to notice. He gripped onto Logan's' air tighter, peppering kisses all over Logan's face.

Just as they were getting into it, the sound of the door opening distracted Kendall. He looked up to see James staring at him in confusion.

"Ah Kendall, why do you look like your making out with someone that's not there?" Kendall couldn't help it. He just burst out into laughter, not knowing what else to do. Soon Logan was joining him, as they leant against each other trying to control their giggles.

"Um, Kendall seriously what's going on, your acting really strange?"  
>"I'm sorry it's just-and you just-I just can't," he tried to explain through the laughter but he just couldn't stop. He honestly didn't even know why he was laughing anymore.<p>

"Um look I don't know what's up with you, but I heard you talking to someone, but there no one here, and now your just being really weird. "

Kendall managed to control himself, as he looked up at James, the smile still evident on his face.  
>"I'm um, I'm sorry I'll try to keep it down," James just shook his head, muttering about being surrounded by a bunch of crazies, before he shut the door and left. Kendall and Logan were once again trying to control their laughter.<p>

"I just kept thinking what it would've been like if he had walked in on us actually having sex. I don't know how I would've explained it."

After a while a quietly cackling as to not alert anyone else in the house. They were once again lying in one another's embrace. It was so peaceful, just being the two of them. Kendall felt like he was in an entirely different place, a place where he felt so relaxed and calm.

"What's going to happen after tonight?" Kendall eventually asked.

"I don't know," was all that Logan said in reply.

"But there must be something, I mean we were meant to meet each other, that's why you're here, so I mean if it as meant to be, why would it all be taken away from us."  
>"I can't tell you how destiny and fate works Kendall, alls I know is that if this is my last night, I want to spend it with you in my arms," Kendall smiled up at Logan, knowing that if he was in Logan's position that was all he would want to.<p>

"Kendall, you need to promise me something okay," Kendall nodded.

"Anything," Logan moved so that he was facing Kendall directly, looking at him with such intensity.

"If I do end up…passing on, you need to promise me, you'll move on, and you'll find someone who loves you, and cherished you, and tells you how beautiful and amazing you are everyday. I don't want you to throw yourself around anymore, because you're better-"  
>"Than that, I know," Logan smiled at Kendall, moving his thumb to run over Kendall's lips.<p>

"Promise me."  
>"I promise," Kendall said. Logan leant in for one last kiss, making sure to put every ounce of love he could muster up into it. Kendall then rolled over, Logan spooning him from behind. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall, placing his hands over his, resting his chin on his shoulder. With that Kendall felt his eyes droop, feeling as if he was on top of the moon, hoping that tomorrow would never come, so that Logan could be here to make him feel this way forever. With that thought, he fell of into a peaceful slumber, his dreams filled with nothing but images of Logan.<p>

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><p><strong>So yuhp…Anyways everything's cleared up a bit right, but you still don't know if Logan dies or not. I'm going to give you a huge spoiler, so if you want everything to be a surprise STOP READING! <strong>

**Someone dies, I'm not going to say who but someone does. And it's not like someone who's barely in the story either. There in it a reasonable amount. Ooooh. Now you guys have to keep reading right.**

**Let me just say, if you've seen the movie, it's not going to end like the movie okay. Well I mean it's not going to be completely different but it's just different in it's own right okay. The next chapters going to make me cry though when I write it. I'm an extremely emotional person, so if your not like me you probably won't care but I will okay. It's going to be extremely sad for me to write the next chapter. It's going to be horrible.**

**Okay, so if you want me to update faster leave a nice review for me. **

**Love you guys!**


	8. Hurting badly

**Okay I feel like this is really crap. I wrote it so many times, and it just never really flowed you know. I hope it's okay but I don't know okay so I'm sorry if its not:(**

**It wasn't so sad to write though. Maybe it's because it is really short I don't know but it's not as sad as I thought it would be. It's still pretty horrible, but I kind of wrote it differently than I was planning. I'm sure a lot of you know who's going to die, because a few people guessed it, and those who said they had a fair idea I'm pretty sure that you know. **

**Also I'm sorry it took a while. I wanted to get back into my story Everything's better with you and if you have been reading that then you'll know this story is coming to a close. I see maybe one or two chapters left of this story and then that will be it. I'm definitely going to be sad to see it go, because this had been so much fun to write and everyone's comments and stuff have been amazing. Anyways onward…**

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><p><strong>In the end we were meant to be<strong>

**This was published on 23****rd**** of February 2012**

**Chapter 8**

**Hurting badly**

**Thanks to **_IceRush__, __W0ND3R__, __Benjamin-Steven__, __Xbigtimerusherx__, __BTRKogan__, __Rhett9__, __seddielover1311__, kk, __love-bubbles and you babe__, rawbbles, __BreakFree__, __MythoBoy__, __OsnapitzT0Ri__, __Jacques Descantes__, __Hikari no KasaiKendalls LogieBear__, __pikagurl12_** and **_itrymybest_

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><p>When Kendall awoke, he expected to be wrapped in Logan's embrace. Instead he felt cold and alone. He turned over, to see that Logan was nowhere in sight.<p>

"Logan!" he called out. When there was no response, Kendall began to worry.

"Logan!" he called out. Again no answer. That was when Kendall began to panic.

"Logan!" he shouted, getting up from bed, in his haste getting tangled up in his sheets. He quickly scampered up off the floor, and ran for the door.

He was out of his bedroom in a flash, sprinting down the stairs calling out Logan's name as he went.

There was not once any type of response. He began to run around the house, not knowing where Logan could be. Only one thing kept coming to mind, but Kendall couldn't accept that. Logan could not be…he wouldn't be…

Kendall was frantically searching when James came down the stairs.

"Ken what the fuck are you doing!" Kendall turned around, and it all hit him at once. Logan wasn't here. He wasn't here, and Kendall knew there was only one other place he could be. He fell to the floor, and began to sob.

James was unsure as what to do. He ran over to Kendall, letting the hysteric blond cuddle up to him and cry into his chest. He ran a comforting hand through his hair, and rubbed his back with the other.

"It's okay," James kept whispering, but Kendall knew it wasn't okay. Logan was dead. That was the reality, and now Kendall was all alone.

Kendall didn't know how it happened. He was moment on the floor, then being pulled up and next thing he knew he was in his bed.

"Kendall," he felt someone run their calloused hand down his face. He looked up hoping to see Logan, but when he saw Carlos it only made him cry more.

"Ken buddy, what's going on?"

"I want L-L-Logan," Kendall choked out.

"Kendall I don't know who that is, I don't know what to do-"  
>"Leave me alone!" Kendall shouted.<p>

"Kendall just tell me what's-"  
>"Just GET OUT!" Carlos was obviously taken aback by this, but James quickly grabbed his boyfriend's hand, leading him out of the room. When Carlos and James were both gone, Kendall broke down once again.<p>

He lay there for a couple of minutes sobbing his poor little heart out. Logan was gone. He was dead and Kendall was so upset by this. He had never felt adequate enough for anyone, he was never good enough. That was why his dad left their family, because he wasn't the perfect son. He hadn't even been even been able to keep his promise, which was his mother's last dying wish. _Keep Katie safe. _Now look at her. She was crippled and that was all Kendall's fault to. If he had stayed with her, and tried to help her stay away from the wrong crowd; if he had tried harder, but he hadn't, and now she would forever need someone to help her. He had never had a successful relationship because he wasn't good enough, he never had been, and never would be. And now Logan was gone, that was probably all his fault to.

He couldn't take it anymore. He was useless, pathetic; he was every bad word that anyone could ever think of. He stood from his bed and went into the bathroom that was connected to his room. He went straight for the medicine cupboard, pulling out a bottle of pills. He had to do this. He wasn't worth anything. He flipped open the lid, and was about to pour the pills into his hand when-

"Kendall?" he turned around to see Logan standing in front of him.

"L-Logan," Kendall gasped. He couldn't believe it. He then looked at Logan's expression which was a mix between pity and shock. His eyes were wide however at what he had just been about to witness.

Logan sprinted over to Kendall and knocked Kendall's hand causing the bottle and pills to fall from his grasp. He then pulled Kendall into a hug, the blonde hanging off him tightly. When James had been comforting Kendall it felt nothing like this. He now felt safe, warm against Logan's body. He breathed out a sigh of relief, deciding he would never let Logan go again.

"D-Don't ever do that, why would you-"  
>"I thought you were gone," at that Logan held onto Kendall tighter, clinging to him as if he was the only thing keeping him grounded.<p>

"You promised," Logan whispered.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do," Logan pulled back, grabbing Kendall's face in his hands.

"No matter what happens never do anything like that. I don't care what happens, whether I die or not, don't ever do that okay," Kendall could only nod, falling into Logan's embrace once again.

They stayed like that for a few moments, until Kendall asked.

"I was calling you, where did you go?" That was when Logan pulled back. He looked distraught now, and his expression became even worse when the sound of an engine starting up outside sounded.

"Oh no," he whispered.

"What-what's going on?" Logan shook his head.

"We need to stop them. Now Kendall quickly," Logan began to drag Kendall out of the bathroom, but Kendall began to resist.

"No what's going on? You need to tell me."  
>"Kendall please, we don't have time!" Logan shouted. Kendall didn't know what was going on, but Logan was absolutely panic-stricken. He decided to just do what he was told, so he let Logan drag him out of his room, down the hall and outside. Just as he saw James begin to pull out of the drive way.<p>

"Kendall, stop them!" Logan shouted. Kendall wondered what was on earth was happening, but he did as he was told.

"James!" he shouted as he waved his hands. James obviously didn't see him, as he continued to drive out of the driveway.

"Oh god," Logan muttered, and he began to run down the driveway. Kendall followed him, still so confused. When they got down the end of the driveway, Kendall saw James driving away off into the distance.

"Fuck!" Logan shouted.

"Logan please tell me what's going on?" Kendall pleaded needing to know.

"I can't-oh god I'm so sorry Kendall, I'm so sorry, I tried to stop them, I tried-"  
>"Tried to stop them, Logan who did you try to stop!"<br>"She didn't want to live anymore Kendall. I couldn't stop them."

The tears in Logan's eyes said it all. Kendall clicked right at that moment, and before he knew it, he was running. He ran up to Katie's room, and when he opened the door, expecting to see her there sleeping, he was in shock to see she wasn't.

"No, no, no," Kendall began to chant.

"I'm sorry," he heard from behind him.

That was when he heard the sirens sounding; the deadly sound that indicated the fate of his sister.

"Maybe she'll be okay," Kendall whimpered.

"No," was all Logan said in reply. Kendall didn't listen though. He ran downstairs, and grabbed the phone quickly dialling James number. It didn't work, but before he knew it he was getting a phone call himself. He answered it.

"H-Hello?" he said.

"Ken-Kendall, it's J-James."  
>"What happened?" Kendall asked immediately.<p>

"The car just came out of nowhere, I didn't even see it coming. It was just so fast I didn't know I tried to-I tried to-"  
>"Is Katie okay, please is she okay…" the silence on the other end gave him his answer.<p>

"No, no no-"  
>"I'm so sorry Ken, I'm so sorry," the phone dropped to the floor, breaking into pieces. Kendall didn't know what was happening, how could this happen to him.<p>

"Kendall," he heard from behind him. He turned to see Logan standing there, his expression full of sorrow.

"How could this happen," Kendall whispered his eyes blurred with tears.

"It's my fault," Logan replied audibly gulping.

"What how is this your fault, James he crashed the car, he-"  
>"It wasn't James fault, where I went, they planned this-"<br>"Planned, what does that even mean. Why K-Katie, why her," the tears were now streaming down his face, the damns breaking letting the flood gates open.

"She wanted to die Kendall, she didn't have the will to live anymore, and I'm still-"Logan stopped as he looked down at his hand.

It was slowly beginning to disappear right before his very eyes.

"Logan, what's going on?" Logan didn't reply, as his other arm began to fade away. It was slowly happening, every part of Logan's body becoming transparent, vanishing into thin air.

"Logan what's going on, Logan!" Kendall shouted. Logan was watching himself go, and it was rather scary to see bits of Logan just leave him. It was like he had never been there in the first place.

"Logan please, what's happening?" Kendall whimpered moving forward to try and grasp Logan. His hand fell right through him.

"Logan please!" Kendall watched as Logan mouthed the words I'm sorry, before he was gone. Just like that, he was gone.

Kendall fell to his knees, his head going straight to his hands. Sobs raked his body, as the pain of it filled in whole entirety. He had never felt such pain, knowing that Katie was gone, and now Logan. He didn't even know what Logan meant, but the way he disappeared, made Kendall fall to one conclusion. Katie was gone, Logan was gone. Kendall honestly had no will to go on. He wished he had killed himself before Logan had showed up, because then this pain; this agony would not be hurting him, causing him such hurt like nothing he had ever felt before.

He lay down against the floor, the cold tile making against his skin feeling nice. He curled himself up into a ball, rocking himself back and forth slightly as he cried. He didn't know how long he lay there. It felt like hours, but merely minuets at the same time. He didn't care though. He knew he would never be the same again. At least if Logan was here, he would have someone here to comfort him, someone who would understand him. He now had no one.

He heard his cell phone ring one, twice, three times but he couldn't get up to get it. He knew it was probably James or Carlos, but he couldn't speak to them. He didn't want to see anyone ever again. Now he wanted to kill himself more than ever, to be free of this growing pain that had settled in the pit of his stomach. Of course though he had told Logan he would never do that. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't bring himself to go against what Logan had told him not to do, so he settled for lying there, letting all of the anguish, despair fill him, make him numb. There was nothing else he could do, and he began to imagine this was whole his life would be from now on. He would be here, stay on earth but he would always feel this way. There was nothing that would ever change how he felt, and that was the one thing that scared him more than anything. He knew he would never be the same again.

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><p><strong>So yes, I'm pretty sure there will only be one chapter after this, so yeah:( it will be sad to end but it means more stories on the way. I am working on my next Kogan and I think it's going to be good:) Read and review please:)<strong>


	9. Remembrance Brings Happiness

**Okay guys, here's the last chapter. I know it's been a while but I got it done. As far as my other stories go, there all on hiatus for the moment. I may start writing them again soon, but I just need time to figure out where I'm going to go with them. Plus I've kind of lost my inspiration for my other two stories. To be honest I've been reading more and more Jagan fics so I may post a Jagan fic before any of my other stories get updated. **

**I just want to say that, I tried really hard with this chapter. It has been rewritten many a times because it would just not work for me. I'm not sure about it, but it is the best I can do. I hope everyone enjoys it and thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted or favourited. It means the word to me so thanks a bunch.**

**This is a big shout out to everyone reviewed. Love you guys. Thanks to**_IceRush__, __BreakFree__, __TheClaire24__, __Big Time Ships__, __Rhett9__, __Jacques Descantes__, __pikagurl12__, rawbbles, __Kendalls LogieBear__, __TheGodsAreOnMySide__, Fabian00, __seddielover1311__, __OsnapitzT0Ri__, __MythoBoy__, __Velandrae__, __W0ND3R__, __bigtimedegrassi__, __BTRKogan__, __itrymybest__, anon, __lord kiras hand__, __Hikari no Kasai__, __TidusGT__, __Xbigtimerusherx__, __unchartedfate__, __CaitiePaigee__, kk, Cocobananas, __love-bubbles and you babe__, __Benjamin-Steven__, __kendallsgirl12__,_** and **_SpidermanInPlaid__._

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><p><strong>In The End We Were Meant To Be<strong>

**This was published on the 8t of April 2012**

**Chapter 9**

**Remembrance brings happiness **

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><p>Kendall heard his phone vibrate once again, against the wooden floorboards. He could see Carlos' name flashing on the screen indicating who it was, but he didn't want to talk to anyone. Not at the present moment anyway. He didn't know how long he sat on the floor, but soon enough he heard the front door opening and shutting. He didn't move as he felt someone kneel down next to him.<p>

"Ken, come on bud. Let's get you up," Kendall felt himself being pulled into a sitting position, and once he was sitting he turned to see Carlos right in front of him.

"Hey it's all right buddy. Let's just get you to your bed-"  
>"N-No, I have to know," Kendall interrupted.<p>

"Know what?"

"What happened, how did she-how did she. I just need to…" Kendall couldn't say it out loud. He had barely had time to come to terms with the fact that Katie was indeed…He couldn't even think it.

"You're a mess Ken, we should talk about this when you're in a better state of mind-"  
>"No I need to know now!" Kendall screamed wrenching himself away from Carlos.<p>

"Kendall calm down-"  
>"Just tell me what happened," Kendall hissed through gritted teeth.<p>

"I-I Kendall," Carlos looked at him with pleading eyes hoping not to have to retell what he had just been through.

"Please, I need to know," Carlos shook his head looking down as he did so.

"It was so strange. We weren't even going to take her with us, but she asked to go. She also asked to sit in the front seat. I don't know why she asked, but she really wanted to so I let her. We were driving and the car-the car came out of nowhere. It hit us side on, and her seatbelt broke. Her airbag it didn't deploy and she went through the windscreen. I don't know how but it just happened, and it could've been me, and that's all I keep thinking that it should've been me, but I let he sit there and now-and now she's…they got her into the ambulance but then she started flat-lining. I just…" tears were pouring down Carlos' cheeks as all of it just tumbled out of his mouth. What he was saying though was making Kendall think about what Logan had said.

"She wanted to die Kendall."

_It's my fault. It wasn't James fault, where I went, they planned this. She wanted to die Kendall. She didn't have the will to live anymore. _It was beginning to make sense to him. With the way Carlos was talking it made it sound like Katie was meant to get into the front seat. Katie was meant to die. But why? Kendall wanted to know so desperately why. Why his sister? Why now?

"Kendall James is so sorry. He wanted to come and tell you himself but he has a concussion-"  
>"Is he going to be okay?" Kendall had completely forgotten about everyone else other than his sister, and <em>Logan. <em>Logan's name made him wonder where he was right now. He had disappeared, so did that mean he was dead to. Kendall knew he was most likely never going to see Logan again anyway. Surely though there was a reason he was the only one that could see Logan. They were meant to meet, and Kendall had thought that was why? They were meant to meet and fall in love, and have everything that he had ever wanted. But now Logan was gone. Everything Kendall was thinking just made him so much more confused.

"He's okay," Kendall looked back up to see Carlos was talking. He had forgotten about asking how James was.

"He had a concussion, and his face is badly bruised and scratched. He's probably not going to able to do the latest job he has, but I'm just glad he's okay," Carlos seemed to lose himself in his track of thoughts.

"Carlos, what is it?" Kendall asked tentatively.

"It's just I wasn't even hurt by the car's impact, and James was only hurt slightly. I just-It could've been so much worse, but I can't help but think how we came out of it like this. How did we come out of this so lightly, and then Katie…" Carlos shook his head, but Kendall's mind was now racing. He knew what Logan had meant now. Katie was meant to die, because she didn't have the will to live anymore. There had to be a reason, and Kendall just needed to know why. He wanted answers.

"Kendall, really you need to go rest, today had just been…Just go rest okay," even though Kendall wanted answers, he did feel so tired. He felt the need to rest, so he let Carlos lead him to his room. He lay down on the bed slowly, closing his eyes. Carlos was next to him, but when he felt Carlos go to leave he turned around.

"Please don't leave me?" Kendall knew how pathetic he sounded, but he couldn't be alone at the moment. Carlos smiled at him weakly, before taking off his socks and moving to lie next to Kendall.

"It's going to be okay man. I promise we'll get through this," Carlos rubbed Kendall's back soothingly and that was when Kendall broke. He rolled over, and began to cry into Carlos' chest. Carlos held Kendall wanting nothing more than to comfort his friend in his time of need, doing so until the blond cried himself to sleep.

…

When Kendall awoke Carlos wasn't there with him. He sat up his eyes darting everywhere.

"C-Carlos!" Kendall shouted out, his voice rasped, sounding like he had just eaten nails.

"C-Carlos!" Kendall shouted out again. When no one replied, he started to think that even Carlos had now left him.

"Kendall," Kendall let out a sigh of relief, as the door was opened to see Carlos' friendly face.

"You all right bud?"  
>"Where were you. I-I thought you were going t-to say w-with me?" Tears were in his eyes as he felt pathetic once again. Carlos was once again by him wrapping his arms around him. Kendall buried his face into Carlos shirt, as Carlos comforted him.<p>

"Where w-were y-you?" Kendall asked pulling back.

"I was-James called me-said he was okay and I n-need to go pick him up."  
>"Why didn't you wake me?"<br>"You looked like you needed the rest. I left a note," Carlos nodded to the bedside table, where there was indeed a piece of paper.

Kendall began to think, and he decided that he wanted to go to the hospital. He really didn't want to be alone right now.

"I-I'm going to come with y-you," Kendall said, rubbing his eyes before he stood.

"Ken, I just-I want you to-?" Kendall nodded.

"I need to go and see K-Katie-"  
>"Right-"<p>

"And I-I also-I-I can't be alone right n-now," Carlos smiled, standing up as the two made their way to the door. When they got into the car Kendall wasn't sure if he could face everything. The hospital where the body of his sister was. The hospital where James was. Sure he hadn't intentionally hurt Katie. Kendall knew that. But that still didn't take away from the fact that he had been driving when the accident had happened. That was also when Kendall realized that the hospital was also the place where Logan would be. Dead or alive Kendall didn't know, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. The thought of Logan being dead killed Kendall, but then what if he was alive. Would things still be the same with them. Would Logan even remember?

Carlos looked over to Kendall as he pulled into the hospitals parking lot. He looked so dazed and confused. He was staring off into space, not paying attention to anything at all.

"Ken," when Kendall didn't reply, Carlos tapped his shoulder. Kendall almost jumped out of his skin.

"Um, I'm sorry it's just um we're here," Kendall looked around before nodding and moving to get out of the car.

The two walked into the hospital in silence, Carlos not knowing how this was going to work out.

"You all right?" Carlos asked. Kendall nodded, but Carlos didn't really believe him. They got to the front desk where the receptionist was. Kendall asked where he could go to see Katie, whereas Carlos asked where he could see James. Carlos offered to go with Kendall, for he had said he didn't want to be alone. Kendall refused saying that it was all right. Carlos didn't quite get it, but he shrugged rubbing Kendall's shoulder before going off to find James.

Kendall made his way towards to the room where the receptionist had said Katie was. When he was outside the door, he took a deep breath before entering. When he saw Katie's lifeless body just lying there he felt the tears begin to fall instantly. He walked forward until he was standing over her. She didn't look like Katie anymore, scratches and blood from the accident scaring her. A strand of her hair was in her face, so Kendall moved to push it behind her ear. When he did this he couldn't help but break. His baby sister. _Gone._

The door behind him opened, and Kendall quickly turned around his eyes widening slightly. Camille was not someone he wanted to see right at that present moment.

"I'm so sorry I will just leave…Kendall," Kendall was no longer paying attention to Camille, having turned back to stare down at Katie.

Camille feeling a little bit on edge stepped forward until she was beside Kendall.

"Who was she to you?" Camille asked.

"M-My little sister," Kendall replied, choking back the tears.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Kendall felt a hand being placed on his shoulder, and he wanted to shrug it off but he didn't the two of them standing there now in a comfortable silence.

"Have you um, have you heard about Logan yet?" Kendall didn't want to turn and look at her face, in case she had an expression that he really couldn't take right now.

"N-N-No, is he okay," he finally turned to see Camille, a smile plastered across her face.

"Yeah. He's fine. It's a miracle really. No lasting damage. He's up and walking around, telling all the other doctors how to do their job," Kendall laughed at that, still tears in his eyes.

"That's g-good news."  
>"Yeah. You should go see him. He'll probably be expecting you," Kendall nodded at that, not knowing if Logan would indeed be expecting him. He had forgotten that both Camille and Lucy still thought that Logan was indeed his boyfriend.<p>

"Do you want some time by yourself?" Camille asked. Kendall nodded so Camille squeezed his shoulder, once again apologizing for his loss before she went to leave.

"Oh um, Logan's room is 518 on floor D," Kendall nodded at that, watching as Camille smiled once more before finally leaving.

Kendall was glad to hear that Logan was okay, but he really didn't like the way he was feeling. He was feeling so much better at hearing that Logan was still breathing, but he didn't want to feel better. He wanted to feel horrible; ghastly for he had just lost his sister. He didn't want to feel good about anything at all, but here he was ready to smile because Logan was all right. It made it sick to his stomach.

He stood beside Katie for what felt like hours but only a few minutes had passed by. He felt soon found himself not being able to do it anymore. He kept staring down at Katie, waiting to see her eyes open and a smile grace her face. It was stupid. Kendall knew that but he couldn't help it. He needed to get out of there, but he couldn't move his feet. When a knock at the door came, a nurse entering to inform it that visiting hours would soon be over, he knew he needed to go. He bent down and kissed Katie on the forehead, hugging her tightly.

"I love you," he whispered before pulling back and quickly running out the door.

He didn't know where he was going, but he was just running wanting to escape all that he felt. All of his emotions were causing him to feel so much pain, and he just wanted it all to stop. He kept running until he ran past a familiar number. 518. He stopped in his tracks, panting. He turned around and he immediately knew where he was. He didn't want to see Logan, but he felt he had to. He knew he needed to. He moved forward and knocked on the door.

Lucy answered the door, smiling up at him as she let him in.

"Hey Logan, Kendall's here," Kendall walked in hoping that Logan would recognize him. When Kendall saw the look on Logan's face, his heart dropped though. His eye-brows were furrowed in confusion his lips pursed tight a thoughtful look over his face.

"Hey L-Logan," Logan cocked his head to his side.

"Do I know you?" Logan asked, and that was when Kendall knew. He knew that Logan didn't remember.

"Logan sweetie, its Kendall you boyfriend," Logan shook his head.

"I don't have a boyfriend?" with every word that Logan spoke, Kendall felt a blow to his heart. _He didn't remember._ That was all that Kendall could think.

"The doctor said there could be some memory loss, so maybe if you just try and talk to him then he'll remember you," Lucy was now looking expectantly at Kendall, who could barely think straight let alone form a sentence.

"Logie, you-you have to remember me," Kendall didn't know where it came from but he was soon moving to stand beside his bed. "Please remember me." Logan still looked so confused, and Kendall just couldn't take it. "Do you remember the night that we met." He couldn't tell the story the way he wanted to because Lucy was still in the rom standing beside him. He was just hoping that Logan would rememeber. "I-I work as a bartender, and this guy kept hitting on me, and I was-was going to leave with him, and you told me not to. You told me that all he w-wanted was a quickie, and that-that I deserved better than that. I was-was worth so much more, and then we k-kissed and everything felt so right with you. You h-have to remember me p-please," Logan was staring up at Kendall, and Kendall thought he saw something in Logan's eyes. He thought he saw a flicker of something, and he took it to be a good sign.

He reached forward in attempt to grab Logan's hand, but as he did that Logan moved his hand away not letting Kendall touch him.

"I'm sorry. You have me confused with someone. I don't know you," Kendall felt his heartbreak and he knew it was now gone beyond repair. He had to get out of there. He looked up to see Lucy's face staring back at him with sadness.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, but Kendall just ran out of there.

He found himself outside by Carlos car, not wanting to be inside that hospital anymore. When he felt a hand on his shoulder he turned around to see Carlos and James standing before him.

"We saw you running out. Are you okay-"  
>"Just take me home," Kendall interrupted, getting into the car shrinking back into the back seat. He had figured that James would want to sit up front with Carlos, but when he came around and went to get in the back seat Kendall was surprised.<p>

"What are you doing?" Kendall asked with a sharp tone. He saw the look of guilt in James' eyes and he really hadn't meant that to sound horrible. He knew James probably thought that he blamed him for what happened to Katie.

"I'm sorry I just, if you're trying to sit back here to make sure I'm all right, I don't need you to okay. I just want to be alone," Kendall watched James' expression hoping that he would get out and go and sit in the front. That was when Kendall realized. James' eyes kept darting to the front seat, showing nothing but fear.

"Oh James, I'm sorry you can sit here if you want," Kendall saw the look a of relief flood James face as he entered the car.

The ride home was silent and the moment Kendall could he got out of the car, ran inside to his room collapsing on his bed. The moment he did that he buried his face into his pillow and screamed. This day had been the worst day he had ever had. He had lost almost everything, and he felt that he would never be the same. He felt like this day had set him up for how he was going to feel for the rest of his entire life. _God life sucked._

…

It had been two weeks. In that two weeks things had changed a lot. Katie's funeral had been and gone, and it was definitely the most painful two hours Kendall had ever experienced. Burying his sister had never been a part of Kendall's plans. Kendall now though had nothing to do with his life. He had always spent his days with Katie, and now he didn't have anything to do during his day. Instead he just sat at home, on the couch watching television and eating. He had begun to drink a fair bit to in attempt to drown his sorrows. Kendall hadn't seen the light of day in at least a weeks' time, Carlos and James managing to drag him out to a do some groceries a week before. He had quit his job. Everything there reminded him of Logan and he couldn't take it. He now had nothing to do with his nights either. James had changed as well. He would now no longer drive. He just couldn't, and Carlos now had to drive him everywhere. James also hadn't been to any auditions as of late. That was mostly because the bruising on his face hadn't healed.

It was a Monday and Kendall was again sitting on the couch. This time though he had a photo album in front of him. It had pictures of so many happy memories. There were early years when his dad had been around. Those were very early years, but they still made Kendall happy. There were pictures of his mother, back before she had gotten sick. She looked so happy. There were also pictures of Katie and Kendall. All of them were set back in time when they had all been happy, and it made Kendall happy just to relieve them in a sense.

When he heard the door open, Kendall knew Carlos was home from the bakery. He had been coming home early lately to check on Kendall, but this was still earlier than he normally returned home. When Kendall heard voices he became confused. Carlos had guests. He put the photo album on the table, and sat back into the couch, wrapping the blanket around him. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, and he was going to make sure Carlos knew that.

When Carlos came in he sat down at the end of the couch.

"Hey how are you bud?"  
>"Fine," Kendall mumbled, not even looking at Carlos.<p>

"Okay well um, I have some people over. I saw this girl Lucy at the bakery and it when I was serving her I remembered her from high school. We had been in the school band together. Anyways she was with her brother and I invited them back here, because I wanted to catch up with her and-"

"Wait her brother," the moment Kendall had heard Lucy he had thought it was impossible, but now she was here, with her brother.

"It can't be," Kendall muttered to himself.

"What? Is everything all right-"  
>"What's his name?" Kendall was now sitting up, staring intently at Carlos.<p>

"What are you-"  
>"The brother what's his name?" Carlos just stared back in confusion, which Kendall really didn't have time for.<p>

He quickly got to his feet, running out of the lounge. When he heard voice he followed to the kitchen. Once he was outside the door he pushed it open to see Lucy and Logan sitting at the table. His eyes widened in surprise, as Lucy and Logan turned to him. He could tell that their expressions were mirroring his.

"L-Logan," was all that Kendall could say. There was then and awkward silence, until Carlos came thundering through the door.

"Kendall, what's going o-"  
>"Carlos let's go to anywhere but here," Lucy stood up, Kendall watching as Logan tried to grab her hand but for some reason Lucy wasn't having any of it. She grabbed Carlos' hand and began to drag him away from Kendall and Logan. It left the two alone neither knowing what to do.<p>

"I-I-I-" Kendall shook his head not knowing what to say.

"Why do I remember you?" Kendall had not been expecting that.

"What do you?"  
>"I-I don't know. I don't know how to explain it," he stared up at Kendall with familiarity. Could Logan really remember him.<p>

"I-I've been having dreams about you," dreams Kendall thought.

"What kind of dreams?"

"Just of us being together. You in my arms. I sometimes hold you while you cry. I always calm you down. I don't know why I'm having these dreams. I told Lucy and she said maybe they are memories. They don't feel like memories though. I just-I-I see you face and I know you from somewhere. I can't place you though. I just I don't know where I know you from but I feel like-"

"You feel like what?" Kendall needed to know what Logan felt but Logan had gone quiet.

"Were you really my boyfriend?" Kendall could see the doubt there was. He knew that Logan knew that Kendall had been lying. Kendall moved and took a seat opposite Logan.

"No," Kendall replied.

"Then why would you say you were. I don't understand."  
>"I can't explain it, without sounding crazy, but we know each other Logan. You know me."<p>

It went silent again, the two staring at each other trying to feel each other out.

"I don't understand," Logan tried, but Kendall just shook his head.

"Neither do I," Logan's hands were just there on the table, and Kendall just needed to touch him; to feel his hands in his. He reached forward, and grabbed Logan's hands. That was when he felt it. He couldn't tell what it was. A spark of some sought, but whatever it was it felt so powerful and when Kendall looked up he knew that Logan had felt it to.

"I saw you while you were in a coma," Kendall knew it sounded crazy, but Logan just nodded his head. "I was the only one who could see you, no one else and I don't know why?" Kendall was waiting for Logan to laugh, but when nothing came he looked up to see Logan staring at his and Kendall's hands.

"I remember what this feels like, to have your hands in mine. I remember that feeling," Kendall's heart was in his mouth. Logan was on the verge of remembering everything. He could see it in his eyes.

"You remember right. You remember sitting at the kitchen table, trying to get James and Carlos to notice you. You remember going to the bar with me, and making me throw that drink in that guys face. You remember holding me as I cried. You remember kissing me. You remember Katie," Katie's name came out sounding funny, for it was the first time he had said it since the funeral.

"I-I don't know," Kendall removed his hands from Logan's. He didn't need this. He had been through enough already.

"K-Kiss me," Logan commanded. Kendall didn't know where that came from, but as he stared into Logan's eyes he knew he was serious.

"W-Why?"  
>"I just feel like it will help me to remember. Please I just I need you to," Kendall felt the butterflies in his stomach, but he leaned forward, and when he was inches away from Logan's lips he crashed forward pushing his lips onto Logan's. He felt everything. This time it was more than a spark. He couldn't explain it, but it was all so surreal. He moved so that he was sitting in Logan's lap, his hands intertwined around Logan's neck. Logan's hands went to Kendall's hips gripping on to them. Their lips moved furiously against one another's, Kendall feeling like everything in place. He just hoped it was enough to get Logan to remember.<p>

When he pulled back he looked into Logan's eyes seeing tears.

"Y-You remember," Kendall felt tears in his own eyes. Logan only nodded smiling.

"My dreams were never dreams were they," Logan spoke softly. Kendall let out a breath he hadn't been holding, moving forward to again kiss Logan. This time there was so much more passion; fervour. He could feel everything that Logan was feeling and it was all so amazing. When they pulled apart they rested their foreheads against one another's.

"How is this even possible," Kendall whispered.

"We were meant to be," Kendall pulled back raising his eye-brow to look at Logan.

"I-I know we were meant to meet each other, but how-"  
>"I remember almost dying."<br>"What?" Kendall hadn't known that.

"Yeah I remember going somewhere white. And there were voices. They kept arguing. I could never see anyone but I could hear them. They kept saying I needed to go back to look after you. But they also said I couldn't leave, that they needed to have someone to do their work. They said they could take someone who didn't want to live anymore," that was when it hit Kendall.

"Katie," he breathed out.

"I'm so sorry Kendall," Logan whispered.

"It's-I-ah…" Kendall trailed off not knowing what to say. "Maybe she's in a better place now," Kendall didn't want to think like that. That she had been taken for a reason, but that was what it was. She had been taken so that he could have Logan back. So that he could look after him. Tears began to streak down his face.

"Kendall don't cry. I'm so sorry."  
>"It's not your fault. I just feel like this is all my fault now."<br>"Your sister's death, it wasn't you fault. I remember them saying how hard life was on her. She felt so lifeless already, and she felt like she was burdening you-"

"She was never-"  
>"I know, but she was just so helpless. She didn't want to live like that. I think they brought me back because I was what you needed, and I still had so much to live for. I never wanted to do that. I tried to stop them-"<br>"I know," it all made sense now. Kendall just wished that it didn't.

"Like you said. She's in a better place now."

Kendall fell forward onto Logan's shoulder holding onto him so tightly never wanting to let him go.

"This is just so unbelievable," Logan whispered as ran his fingers through Kendall's blond locks.

"I know," Kendall said as he pulled back to stare into Logan's eyes. The gaze was full of so much emotion. Kendall wasn't used to someone looking at him like that. Looking at him like he meant more than anything in the world.

Kendall surged forward, crashing his lips on to Logan's. The passionately kissed, holding onto each other never wanting to let go. The way they held each other showed just how much they meant to one another. Kendall moved his hands to Logan's hair, tugging on his brunette locks which made Logan let out a loud moan. Kendall felt his dick twitch at the sound, his jeans tightening around his swelling cock. Logan lips then moved to Kendall neck, latching onto his skin and he nipped and sucked leaving bruises. Kendall was now panting, gripping onto Logan tightly.

"Make love to me," Kendall whimpered in Logan's ear.

"Here," Logan said his eyes widening.

"Not here, Carlos would probably kill me. But my room is upstairs," Kendall stood up, holding out a hand. Logan grabbed it as he began to lead him upstairs. Once they were in Kendall's room, Kendall was immediately on the bed, Logan straddling him kissing him everywhere. Kendall hands moved all over Logan's body which lay flush against him. They kissed for many minuets, never getting tired of the feeling of their lips against one another's. When things began to get heated Kendall began to become a little uneasy. All of his relationships had only ever been about sex, and with the way things were moving so quickly, Kendall couldn't help but think that maybe Logan was just in it for the sex as well.

"S-Stop," Kendall said. Logan immediately looked down with concern.

"Is everything all right?" Logan asked.

"I just, you remember me talking about how all I was g-good for was…" Logan smiled down, stroking his fingers across Kendall's cheek.

"I remember. Is that what you're afraid of, because if it is I can wait. We can go out on a proper date and everything. I'm not just in this relationship for sex Kendall."  
>"In this, you mean like-"<br>"Like you're my boyfriend. I mean if you want to be?" Kendall laughed at that.

"Of course I want to be. More than anything."  
>"Then trust me when I say, this isn't just about sex. This is about so much more than that."<br>"I'm sorry I'm just a little nervous."  
>"There's no need to be nervous."<br>"Yeah your right, you're the one who should be nervous considering you're about to lose your virginity and everything," Kendall joked, which made Logan narrow his eyes.

"Not funny."  
>"Aww, I was only joking," Kendall smiled. Logan chuckled at that, leaning down to kiss Kendall again. When Logan went to pull away, Kendall grabbed the back of Logan's neck deepening the kiss.<p>

Soon enough their tongues were in each other's mouths battling for dominance. Logan eventually won which Kendall loved. Logan began to reach between them unbuttoning Kendall's plaid shirt. When Kendall was shirtless, he began to trail kisses down Kendall's front until he was the hem of his jeans. He then began to unbutton his jeans pulling them down. Once he had Kendall's pants off he began to mouth Kendall through his boxers. Kendall reached down threading his fingers through his Logan's hair.

"Oh Logie, please I need you inside me," Kendall moaned. Logan looked up seeing the desperation on Kendall's face.

"Eager aren't we."  
>"Shut up and fuck me."<br>"We're not fucking where making love," Logan words made Kendall melt inside. They smiled at each other, as Logan finally removed Kendall's boxers. The cool air against his hardening length felt so good, and then without warning there was wetness at his entrance.

"Holy shit," Kendall screamed feeling Logan's tongue move inside of him.

"Oh god, please Logie I need you Logie oh god please," Kendall begged.

Logan moved off of him before removing all of his clothes. He leant down to kiss Kendall, before moving back and spitting on his hand. He stroked himself, using his spit as lube, biting his lip at the contact of his hand against his shaft. He then leant flush against Kendall, putting the head of his dick against Kendall's awaiting entrance. He pushed himself in slowly, kissing Kendall all the while swallowing every single sound Kendall made. When he was fully inside of Kendall, Logan had to restrain himself from pounding into his tight hole, but not for long.

"Oh god Logan, hurry up and move," Logan didn't need to be told twice, as he pulled back and then thrust into Kendall making the blond beneath him writhe in pleasure as he hit his prostate dead on.

"Fuck Logan!" Kendall screamed.

Logan began to move faster and faster, thrusting into Kendall loving the response he was getting.

"You like that baby, you like my dick inside you."  
>"Oh god yes," Kendall pulled Logan down to kiss him, their mouths practically moulded to fit one another's. Logan again moved down to suck on Kendall's neck, biting down hard as Kendall screamed.<p>

"O-Oh g-god Logan. H-Harder, F-Faster, make me f-feel it b-baby," Logan pulled away reaching down to grip onto Kendall's hips, driving harder into Kendall than he had ever imagined going. The only sound that could be heard was the skin slapping against skin, and loud moans and grunts.

Logan could feel Kendall's entrance pulsating around him, the familiar coil in the pit of his stomach making Logan see stars. Kendall had moved his hand to begin stroking himself furiously to bring himself over the edge.

"Holy shit Kendall I'm, gonna, I-I!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck Logan!"

The both came at the same time, Logan thrusting shallowly into Kendall riding out his orgasm before collapsing on top of the panting blond. The two lay against each other until Logan finally rolled off of Kendall, to lie next to him. Kendall immediately rolled over, cuddling into Logan's side.

"That was amazing," Kendall breathed.

"I know, so good," Kendall laughed at that.

"Hey Logie?"  
>"Yeah?"<p>

"I'm glad you're here," there were tears in his eyes, because even though he was glad Logan was here, he knew what the expense had been.

"Hey, I know how hard this must be for you, but don't worry. Everything's going to be all right okay. I'll make sure of it."

"I'm glad you remembered everything."  
>"Yeah me to," Logan leant down and sealed their lips together.<p>

"And don't worry," he mumbled against Kendall's lips. "I'm not going anywhere."  
>"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that."<p>

"And don't worry. Everything's going to be all right. I promise that."

They kissed one last time before Kendall pulled away nuzzling into Logan's chest. Sure his life hadn't been easy so far, but Logan was here with him now promising him not to leave. To always be with him. He would never forget Katie, and all he could do is hope that she was in a better place now. And even though she would always be in his heart, Logan was his future. That mere thought made him smile as he felt Logan run his fingers through his hair and kiss his cheek. This was his life now, and things could only get better from here.

* * *

><p><strong>So that is it. I'm sad to see this story go but that brings for more stories in the future. I just want to say I know it's weird how Logan remembers things, like I felt it was so sudden but that was how I was always planning on him remembering. Anyways all I can say from here is that I hope you enjoyed reading:D<strong>


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